Remember the Tom Cruise movie "Jerry Maguire?"
From my seat in the theater, this movie had a much more valuable message than it's catch phrase "show me the money."
Tom Cruise plays the title character Jerry Maguire, a fast moving sports agent who lives for the big score and makes big money. After an attack of conscious, he is let go by his firm. Cuba Gooding, Jr. plays his one remaining client, football player Rod Tillman, a player with talent and an attitude that gets in the way.
Jerry Maguire has his heart in his career and leaves very little of himself for his relationships. As is true of many men, it's said in the movie that "he is great at friendship, lousy at intimacy."
Rod Tillman is a talented athlete who loves and has a great family, who while talented, just doesn't have his heart in his career.
Without giving too much away, by the end of the movie, each of these men had found a way to put their heart into both family and career.
Unfortunately, our lives are not exactly like the movies. In the movies, each person has a script and as many takes as they need to get it right. Most of what we do is live.
Having said that, let's look at some ways to successfully put our hearts into both work and family.
Putting your heart in work
In her book "Care Packages for the Workplace: Dozens of Little Things You Can Do to Regenerate Spirit at Work" Barbara Glanz uses the acronym of CARE to offer us several suggestions on how to put our heart into our work. We'll look at each of these letters and suggestions for using them.
C - Creative Communication
We live in an information society. This means that on a daily basis at the office, we are bombarded with communication, some important, some meaningless. In order for what we communicate to stand out from all the rest, it has to be unique in some way. Consider what you can do to liven up and personalize communication in your office.
A - Atmosphere
How many of you believe that work ought to be fun? So does Joel Goodman, Director of the HUMOR Project, who says, "It is important that we take our jobs seriously....... and it is also important that we take ourselves lightly."
R - Reason for Being
All of us need to feel like we are a part of something important and special. Glanz recommends creating a "personal mission statement" for your life and work. This is not to be confused with a corporate mission statement about a company. It's a statement of how you see your life and work.
E- Enthusiasm
For the lucky among us, it's easy to be enthusiastic about our jobs. For those that have a more difficult time, Glanz says "the challenge is to find your own passion - what small thing about your job can you love?" And then build from there.
Putting your heart in home
As you arrive home after another long day at the office, does it ever occur to you that you are about to begin what is really your most important job? Being a part of your family. Most women tend to instinctively know this while most men need strong reminders. (I believe it's a genetic defect).
In discussing the balance between work and family, I wrote about work first, not because it's most important, but because I wanted to save the best for last. I know too many people who have sacrificed their families on the alter of success, only to wind up professionally successful and personally lonely. From what I've seen, it's not a very attractive way to live.
Consider a few questions with me
- What would happen in our families if we applied the same CARE acronym at home? - What would it be like to find creative and fun ways to communicate with those with whom we live?
- What would it be like for the teenager who has been giving you trouble to find a note from you under the pillow that simply says, "I love you and I'm glad you're here?"
- What would it be like to come home to an atmosphere where you could be yourself, feel loved, and grow into your full potential?
- What if your reason for being, that which your life was organized around was your relationships? How would life be different?
- What would happen in our families if we brought as much enthusiasm home with us as we had at the football game? Could home become an exciting place to be?
I realize that I've asked more questions than I have answered at this point. It's just that I believe we need to begin asking ourselves these questions in order to achieve a balance between work and family.
In our increasingly complex society, a major source of stress is the delicate balance between family and career. Beginning to ask these questions can steer us towards solutions we can take home.
Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.
Introduction Have you ever heard or have you ever seen,... Read More
Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 26,... Read More
Edith Piaf remains an icon and her best loved song,... Read More
In the recovery phase of my husbands last affair I... Read More
Men wanted desperately, it's official. The increasing surplus of high... Read More
IntroductionDo you feel misunderstood by your partner? Seem to keep... Read More
My Dear Lover,Communication is one of the key ingredients for... Read More
Most single guys are settled in their life. Their mornings,... Read More
This is a sizzling hot topic for a lot of... Read More
Over the past few months, things in my life have... Read More
Eleven o'clock on a weeknight I found myself phoning a... Read More
We can fall into the habit of complaining about our... Read More
If you are looking for it, you can find relationship... Read More
It is a commonly held belief, mainly amongst men, that... Read More
Many women mistakenly believe they need to hire a private... Read More
When you read it like that, out of context, you'd... Read More
Have you ever wondered why we flirt? I mean, we've... Read More
Romantic relationships happen because of the hopes and dreams a... Read More
Leaving an abusive relationship is difficult, but being alone can... Read More
Just a note to ask if there are other married... Read More
Are men really from Mars, and women from Venus?'what women... Read More
In the Asian online dating world it is not uncommon... Read More
Usually we enter relationships hoping they will make us happy.... Read More
I will in this article cover some of my own... Read More
Mairi came into my life about two years ago. She... Read More
Relationships. They're complicated, right? At least that's what we've been... Read More
Many cultures have customary kissing etiquettes. The French for instance... Read More
"Those who do not remember the past are condemned to... Read More
Ultimately, you want a partner you can be your true... Read More
Finally, after all of the hard work you have done... Read More
Questions and Answers from Divine Source Through Barbara Rose1. What... Read More
Leaving an abusive relationship is difficult, but being alone can... Read More
On one very popular web site there were 260 posts... Read More
I want to tell you a little story. Not about... Read More
Why is it that depending on others to fulfill our... Read More
Q. I got married for the first time when I... Read More
Abusive relationships are so painful that I often wonder why... Read More
Noon (A Short Love story, dedicated to my wife Rosa)Marina,... Read More
What do you do when a long term relationship goes... Read More
Conflict in a relationship is both normal and painful. In... Read More
So your relationship has changed over the years since you... Read More
There is one sure fire medicine that cures all difficulty... Read More
Just a note to ask if there are other married... Read More
A husband and wife were doing a little redecorating and... Read More
You know the scenario. You start dating a woman. After... Read More
A genuine apology contains at least four elements: apology, acknowledgment,... Read More
How to cope with your abuser?Sometimes it looks hopeless. Abusers... Read More
Dear Candace,My fiancé and I just broke up, and I... Read More
Have you noticed how so many people spend their lives... Read More
Society's current conception of the term "soul mate" is completely... Read More
|