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Let Change Be Your Friend, Mentor, and Inspiration

People have a tendency of anticipating pending change on the assumption that it will be bad. Such focus on the negatives contribute to unnecessary fears of change, even when there is really not much, if anything, to fear. Sometimes that fear can be inflamed by self doubt; doubts of our own ability to deal with this new situation that is about to befall us.

As such fears are usually unfounded, then hopefully it should not be too difficult to cure our fears of change? Well, that depends on the individual. A group of people facing the same change will react and anticipate in very different ways. It is helpful to understand that life always comprises ups and downs. Nobody can be forever happy, forever in a state of perfection; the world changes and your little world changes. Those who fare the best are those who feed off the changes rather than run from them, or confront them in wasteful defiance; the tide of change will not stop because of you.

As with all experiences in life, you should try to learn from your experiences of change; before, during, and after. Experience and knowledge make for a fuller person, so here is an opportunity to take another step towards your personal maturity. I know from my personal experiences that what appear to be bad events, bad changes, can often lead to something far better.

There are some ancient beliefs which lead us to believe that every single event in our lives, little or large, happens with a pre-determined reason. They also taught that life, somehow, prepares us for certain events that will come later. Whether or not you can believe that does not really matter; what matters is that you view each event as something to be learnt from, not hide from or go into denial about. If it's happened, it's happened; we need to deal with it; we need to deal with the reality it has caused.

Throughout my life I have had the usual setbacks that many endure at one time or another; each time, something better followed, or I took with me significant and useful memories. During 1998/99, though, a whole succession of setbacks, in my personal and business life, really shook me; one after another, with no relief. I lost count; maybe there were 7 or 8. On one hand, I was suffering because of the setbacks. Each was significant, but together, they were reaching the core of my life in England. On the other hand, I was excited, wondering what all this meant. As the dust settled, I knew what it was all about. I was being released to follow my dreams. So, that's what I did.

If you have a problem dealing with a certain change in your life, and understanding what it actually means, here are a few tips that might help you:

1. Try to think only of the positive effects that will result from the change. Use meditation to see how important they are. While meditating, focus on how to get the most from the positive benefits. Then take it further: where could those benefits lead to that will enhance your life still further.

2. Imagine the worse case scenario after the change. Be realistic, and don't be lured into fantasy land to punish yourself. Now use meditation again to find solutions to any problems that may be caused by the change. That way, you will be ready for anything.

3. If you are feeling as though this change is going to affect you more than anyone, then imagine someone else in the same situation; maybe a friend of yours. You will probably find that they will handle it better than you in your imagination. This may help you to handle it better too.

4. As you go to sleep each night, imagine yourself after the change has happened: calm, relaxed, confident and happy. You have got through the change as if it did not happen, or as if it were very trivial. As you wake up, think over the same things in the same way again. You may be surprised at how well your subconscious will prepare you for the impending change.

Change? What change?

That's right, your evolution to maturity.

Roy Thomsitt is owner and part author of and

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