Maintain your old Siemens Hipath system

The Secret of Relationship Success

With a divorce rate in this country that approaches 50%, and a fairly sizable percentage of marriages that aren't particularly blissful, it's difficult to avoid searching for the answer to the battle of the sexes.

Would you like to stop searching?

We've moved through the old paradigm of getting your needs met in relationships, and it has proven itself to be a miserable failure.

Why?

Attempting to get your needs met in your relationship causes some troublesome things to happen. First, it causes you to focus mainly on your needs and not on the desires of your partner. Secondly, it sets you up for disaster, because it has you believing you deserve something that may well not be delivered.

All across this great country of ours, battles are raging between men and women: she needs to talk and connect, and he needs his space and independence.

Who wins here?

The answer, of course, is that both lose because of a flawed view of what a successful relationship is all about. What also happens is that both people start to blame the other for not meeting their needs.

For those who are really serious about success in their relationships, it's important to understand how blaming your partner is an enormous problem itself. It creates a bigger problem, and has you convinced that you're not part of the problem.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Blaming has never worked and never will. It may have you feeling justified in your position, but it will always hurt your relationship.

It's particularly important to develop the realization that your feelings can deceive you in your relationship with your partner. This can be difficult for people raised during the "honor your feelings" era of relationships. Your feelings tell you things like, "I can't believe she could do something like that to me," or, "How could she treat me so badly?" These feelings are the result of your own low self-esteem and your own personal history of victimization.

While it's true that your partner may treat you in a way you don't like sometimes, it's not true that you need to react to it with strong negative feelings. These strong negative feelings are a reflection of your own esteem issues.

These feelings also have a way of keeping your partner engaged in the struggle with you so that you can continue to blame each other. When you're both engaged in the struggle, you'll believe that she needs to be fixed. She'll think the same of you. Nobody wins and everybody loses.

This isn't very smart or effective.

What would happen for people in their important relationships if they gave up defending themselves and believing their needs needed to be met? What would happen if they worked at being kind and caring with their partners?

I'll tell you what would happen. They'd have great relationships! After all, the only thing that you can do to improve a relationship is to improve you.

So stop looking over at your partner and seeing all of the flaws. Stop blaming them. They have issues just like we all do. But if you see that person as a collection of flaws, you'll have no chance at a successful relationship.

And it's successful relationships in life that make us truly happy.

Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, coaches men by phone to create balance in their lives and improve their family relationships. He wrote "Men: Save your Marriage in 30 Days or Less" http://www.markbrandenburg.com/saveyourma rriage.htm Sign up for his free newsletter, "Dads Don't Fix Your Kids," at http://www.markbrandenburg.com. .

In The News:

Houthi rebels want to freeze military operations in Yemen
Mon, 19 Nov 2018 09:27:00 +0000
Yemen's Houthi rebels say they will freeze military operations if the Saudi-UAE military alliance is prepared to do the same.

Migrant caravan bears hallmarks of Syria exodus
Mon, 19 Nov 2018 03:55:00 +0000
This isn't a full on humanitarian crisis yet but it soon could be.

North Korea defector: My generation has no loyalty to Kim Jong Un
Mon, 19 Nov 2018 07:34:00 +0000
A North Korean soldier who was seriously injured when he defected to the South in a hail of bullets believes his generation has no loyalty towards leader Kim Jong Un.

Trump: I won't listen to 'vicious' Khashoggi killing tape
Sun, 18 Nov 2018 14:31:00 +0000
Donald Trump has said he has been fully briefed on a "vicious and terrible" audio recording of the killing of journalist Jamal Khashoggi, but does not want to listen to it himself.

Finland baffled by Trump raking comments
Mon, 19 Nov 2018 07:31:00 +0000
Finland has been left baffled after Donald Trump praised the country for managing its massive forests by raking.



tikatoshop.it

Erfahrungen mit Pallhuber Wein
Agen Bola SBOBET Terpercaya

Travel in comfort and at your leisure with CT Airlink Limousine & Car Service for top quality private transportation and exceptional customer service. We operate Sedans, SUVs & Vans for CT Car Services to covering all Connecticut airports including Car Service from CT to Newark Airport , Mohegan Casino Uncasville CT, Foxwoods Casino Mashantucket CT, Manhattan Cruise Terminal NYC, Brooklyn Cruise Terminal NYC and Bayonne Cruise Terminal NJ. CT Airlink hire licensed and friendly chauffeurs who have in-depth knowledge of the Areas.

A Heat-scar Named Desire

Where on earth is my "play on words" taking me... Read More

Conflict In Faith

Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 19,... Read More

The Economics of True Love

In the real world, can there be romance without finance?... Read More

Love Advice: Let Fate Decide?

One of the most commonly asked questions, What is Love?... Read More

Communicate through Body-language!

Consider a person very important to you. He or she... Read More

Relationships That Really Last: Is This the Secret?

In my e-book, How to Build Relationships That Stick, I... Read More

Passions Search for Destiny

She was haunted by a man whom she had never... Read More

Communicate What You Feel: How to be Understood By Those You Love

Good communication is of fundamental importance in intimate relationships. The... Read More

Great Relationships: 4 Big Relationship Mistakes and How to Avoid Them

Relationship Mistake No. 1 - Partner BashingBashing the one you... Read More

The Sting

Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 28,... Read More

Great Relationships: Checkbook Battles and How to Solve Them

"You can't hold on to a dime. Do you own... Read More

Make Time for Your Relationship

"We don't have to wait till Valentine's Day to think... Read More

How To Tell If Someone You Meet In An Online Profile Or Advert Is Married/Partnered Or A Troll - 3

Liar, Liar! Pants On Fire!Today, you'll learn about 2 yellow-flag... Read More

Is Your Negative Thinking Scaring Off Your Soul Mates?

Francine Bonnecelli* swore off relationships the day her husband of... Read More

What Till Death Do Us Part REALLY Means - Divine Source through Barbara Rose

Let me address this issue of eternity, this promise many... Read More

The Ancient Wisdom of Matchmaking & Loving Y.O.U.

"Know Thyself" PlatoIsn't it curious how just about everything in... Read More

Destroyers of Relationships

Communication and listening is very important in any relationship. For... Read More

Pay Attention! Mastering Communication Skills with Women

One of the biggest complaints women have about men is... Read More

When Are You Ready to Move onto a New Relationship?

Breakups can be painful and difficult on so many difficult... Read More

Rhubarb Romance: A Little Honey Works Wonders

Spring is in the air. It is a time of... Read More

Here Come the Questions

Why is it that even though I am not positive... Read More

Great Relationship Advice: Dont Be a Darren Stevens

Q: I can't believe I'm asking this question, because I... Read More

Feel Like a (Romantic) Kid Again

If the start of the school year makes you a... Read More

Successful on the Outside, Lonely on the Inside: Our Hidden Epidemic

I say "Loneliness. Isolation. Invisibility."You ask "Eleanor Rigby?" I say... Read More

Ive Gotta Hand It to You

What would I do without my wife? Not much. What... Read More