Maintain your old Siemens Hipath system

Relationship Problems: Whats Your Contribution?

As the story goes, there was once a farmer and his family. They lived in and farmed a huge and gorgeous valley, right next to an equally huge and gorgeous mountain range.

Each year as the seasons turned into late summer and early fall, the farmer and his sons would begin to store their barns with hay for the winter. Some years they stored just a little for the winter, some years they stored much more.

One year, they began to store hay earlier than ever before. The farmer told his sons that it was going to be a very long and cold winter. As each week began, the farmer would instruct his sons to store more and more, and even more hay.

And then as they got further and further into the fall, the farmer and his sons doubled the amount of hay they stored in the barn.

The father said "Sons ,we've got to store more hay than ever before. It's going to be a winter like we have never seen."

One son, being just a bit tired of storing more and more hay, asked the father how he could know that it was going to be a more difficult winter than ever before. The father replied, "Son, you are now old enough for me to tell you the secret of how I know how difficult a winter it will be. Each year, I look up on the great mountain where the Indians live. On the mountain, the Indians store wood for the winter. Some years, in mild winters, they store just a little. Other years, in particularly harsh winters, they store much more.

So I know how cold the winter is going to be by watching how much wood the Indians store away. Now that you know my secret, let's get to work, because the Indians just put away more wood yesterday."

Another son, being fed up with storing so much hay, took one of his younger brothers on a journey up to the mountains to speak with the Indians.

When they arrived, they approached the chief of the tribe and asked him why he was putting away so much wood this year. To which the chief replied,

"This is an ancient Indian custom. We always know how cold the winter will be by watching the farmer in the valley. The colder the winter will be, the more hay the farmer puts away!"

What is Your Contribution?

Both the Indian and the farmer were simply reacting to each other, believing that each one was the source of the need to prepare the winter.

And so it goes in many of our relationships. Whether it is in friendship, marriage, family, or the work environment, we are prone to blame others for the way we behave in the relationship.

The line goes something like this,

"If only they would do (blank), then I would stop (or start) doing (blank)."

So the question then becomes, as in the farmer-Indian story, what is your contribution?

Do you do any of the following:

=>Expect too much.

=>Expect too little.

=>Have a preconceived bias against the other person.

=>Misinterpret something they have said or done and then fail to check out your perception.

=>Expect/demand the other person to change first.

=>Expect/demand your own way.

=>Do the silent treatment or some other way of shutting the other person out.

So what to do? Three steps:

1) Identify your contribution.

2) Take responsibility for it, whether you like it or not.

3) Change your contribution.

Ready for the bottom line folks? Change your contribution, and you can not only solve the problem, you can change and improve the relationship.

Jeff Herring is a Relationship Coach, Speaker, and Syndicated Relationship Columnist. Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for more relationship tips and tools, a f'ree e-zine and f'ree e-programs to enrich your relationship.

In The News:


Warning: simplexml_load_file() [function.simplexml-load-file]: http://feeds.skynews.com/feeds/rss/world.xml:1: parser error : Document is empty in /home/infob/public_html/includes/rss.php on line 2

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in /home/infob/public_html/includes/rss.php on line 9


tikatoshop.it

Erfahrungen mit Pallhuber Wein
Agen Bola SBOBET Terpercaya

Travel in comfort and at your leisure with CT Airlink Limousine & Car Service for top quality private transportation and exceptional customer service. We operate Sedans, SUVs & Vans for CT Car Services to covering all Connecticut airports including Car Service from CT to Newark Airport , Mohegan Casino Uncasville CT, Foxwoods Casino Mashantucket CT, Manhattan Cruise Terminal NYC, Brooklyn Cruise Terminal NYC and Bayonne Cruise Terminal NJ. CT Airlink hire licensed and friendly chauffeurs who have in-depth knowledge of the Areas.

Tips For Proper Kissing Etiquette!

Many cultures have customary kissing etiquettes. The French for instance... Read More

The Battle of the Sexes!

During my personal experiences with some of my relationships, I... Read More

7 Things You Must Know About Women

Most men find women mysterious and confusing. You find us... Read More

How Often do you Think About What you are Going to Say?

How often do you think about what you are going... Read More

Getting an Exciting Life After a Break Up

Breaking up.The End. The journey is over. You feel rejected.... Read More

Cutting the Cord

Sometimes, after a relationship has ended, many of us have... Read More

Ive Gotta Hand It to You

What would I do without my wife? Not much. What... Read More

Learn the Six Secrets of Chemical Romance

What is Chemical Romance? It's a scientific approach to seduction... Read More

Unfaithfulness

AS I STARED at the sunset, I marveled at its... Read More

Your Next Argument: 10 Thngs to Consider Before You Get There

1. It's addictive. Fighting, and the anger that comes with... Read More

Washroom Break

Picture yourself at a bar with some of your buddies.... Read More

The Freedom to Fall

So you want a soulmate do you? Okay not necessarily... Read More

Russian Brides - Who Are They?

In recent years, thousands of young Russian and Ukrainian women... Read More

Intent

Over the past few months, things in my life have... Read More

Are all Men Unfaithful?

"Men are all the same. Stop looking for Prince Charming,... Read More

Romance Matters

You are never too old and it is never too... Read More

Penpal and Christian Penpal

Having a penpal can be fun; bringing diversity into your... Read More

Jinxed Relationships -- Are Yours?

Do you consider yourself unlucky in love? Have your relationships... Read More

Easy Ways to Turn Any Evening Romantic

If you don't have the time, money or energy to... Read More

How To (Wo)man Your Boundaries

The first time I ever heard "boundaries" mentioned, it was... Read More

Am I Doing the Right Thing?

Dear Candace,My fiancé and I just broke up, and I... Read More

Will They or Will They Not Cheat?

Have you ever told your partner or spouse how you... Read More

Relationship Advice: 4 Steps to a Genuine Apology

A genuine apology contains at least four elements: apology, acknowledgment,... Read More

Feel Like a (Romantic) Kid Again

If the start of the school year makes you a... Read More

Catch a Cheating Lover?

Relationships. Virtually all of us are in one, or at... Read More