Maintain your old Siemens Hipath system

Relationship Problems Have Warning Signs

Families are made up of individuals; men, women, and children. All members are interconnected. Imagine a family represented by a hanging mobile. Each member is a hanging object. When you tug on one object, it shakes the rest. The same is true in families. Each person's moods, attitudes and behaviours influences those around him or her.

Depressed, angry or emotionally injured individuals are not islands unto themselves. They impact on everyone around them. Typically, individuals are the way they are because of what is happening (or has happened) between them and other people. For example:

A woman is depressed because her husband is critical and doesn't show her love. A man is angry because his boss doesn't recognize his achievements. A child is rebellious because she feels her teacher is unfair.

Relationships are the most powerful influences on individuals. When this is not fully understood inappropriate solutions may be tried to solve relationship problems. Using the above examples, the depressed woman may take anti-depressant medication, the angry man might gamble and the rebellious girl could deliberately try to be different and unconventional. These attempted solutions don't get to the core of the problem and can even make the problem worse.

Relationships don't just break-down. They follow predictable stages. For example, there are four stages that contribute to the demise of a marital relationship. They occur in a sequence with the last stage indicating the final step before break-up. The four stages are:

1) Criticism. In this stage an individual is severely critical and judgmental of what his or her partner does. For example, a wife is constantly criticizing her husband for coming home late from work, or a husband is continually challenging his wife about how she spends money. Typically the criticisms span a broad range of topics and activities.

2) Contempt. In this stage both attack each other personally. Instead of bad behaviours as in the first stage, it has now regressed to flawed personalities. For example, "you are just a loser, your just like your father" or "you are a lunatic and you should find yourself a good psychiatrist."

3) Defensiveness. In this stage the person take no responsibility for their actions or their part in the problem. It is always 100% the other persons fault.

4) Withdrawal. This final stage is characterized by stonewalling. The individual remains silent or walks out of the room when the partner speaks. In this stage the husband or wife feels so hopeless that they have given up all efforts to resolve issues by talking and negotiating with their partner.

These stages represent chronic conditions that last over time, not momentary anger or frustration. As well, they are only predictive of divorce when the couple does not find a way out of their destructive behaviours. If the couple goes for counselling with a mental health professional trained specifically in marriage counselling they can begin to work on some of their unresolved issues and learn the skills necessary for a healthy and satisfying relationship. The sooner these problems are addresses the more easily they are resolved. For example, it is more difficult to make improvements when the relationship is in the "withdrawal" stage than the "criticism" stage.

These stages can also apply to the relationship between adults and children, at home or in school.

1) Criticism. Whatever is done is not good enough. For example, "why did you get a B and not an A" or "your room is always such a mess." As a result of this the child feels like a failure.

2) Contempt. The child's personality and self-worth is attacked. For example, "you are stupid" or "you are lazy." The child begins to feel worthless.

3) Defensiveness. The child defends him or herself by making up inaccurate and unrealistic excuses. When this happens it becomes very difficult to find a co-operative solution to the problem. The relationship is now adversarial.

4) Withdrawal. The child gives up and becomes depressed. He or she feels that whatever they try or do it will not help. Rebelliousness and "wild" behaviour may be tried since the child or adolescent feels he or she has nothing to loose.

Successful relationships, like most other important things in life, require effort. If a relationship is or has been in serious trouble we must try do everything we can to change it and fix it.

Abe Kass, M.A., R.S.W., R.M.F.T., is the publisher of Wisdom Scientific self-help educational programs. Abe is also a registered Social Worker, registered Marriage and Family Therapist, certified hypnotherapist and award winning educator. He concluded, after many years of clinical practice and research, that practical solutions requiring a focussed effort of no more than a few minutes a day for very specific personal and relationship problem were critically needed. Wisdom Scientific publishing house has been created to fill this need. For more information or a free e-bulletin, visit http://www.WisdomScientific.com

In The News:

Celebrations in France after World Cup triumph
Sun, 15 Jul 2018 16:54:00 +0100
Crowds of French fans have gathered in the streets of Paris and other cities to celebrate their team's World Cup triumph.

Five other winners from the World Cup
Sun, 15 Jul 2018 19:00:00 +0100
France put on a thrilling show to win the World Cup final.

Trump arrives in Helsinki ahead of meeting with Putin
Sun, 15 Jul 2018 16:49:00 +0100
Donald Trump has called the European Union a "foe" of America, as he landed in Helsinki for a summit with Vladimir Putin.

Indictments cloud Trump-Putin summit in Helsinki
Sun, 15 Jul 2018 14:36:00 +0100
Stories drop so thick and fast with Donald Trump it's vital you stand back and take stock.  

Cave rescue boys in tears over diver's death
Sun, 15 Jul 2018 10:59:00 +0100
Twelve boys rescued from a flooded cave in Thailand shed tears as they paid tribute to a diver who died during the rescue mission. 



tikatoshop.it

Erfahrungen mit Pallhuber Wein
Agen Bola SBOBET Terpercaya

Travel in comfort and at your leisure with CT Airlink Limousine & Car Service for top quality private transportation and exceptional customer service. We operate Sedans, SUVs & Vans for CT Car Services to covering all Connecticut airports including Car Service from CT to Newark Airport , Mohegan Casino Uncasville CT, Foxwoods Casino Mashantucket CT, Manhattan Cruise Terminal NYC, Brooklyn Cruise Terminal NYC and Bayonne Cruise Terminal NJ. CT Airlink hire licensed and friendly chauffeurs who have in-depth knowledge of the Areas.

Picking Up The Pieces

"My feelings have changed," my boyfriend of five years told... Read More

Great Relationship Advice: The Ability to Apologize and Forgive

I'm sorry can be words that are much too easy... Read More

Relationship Advice: 3 Kinds of Love

There are three kinds of love:love as a feeling, love... Read More

Hold Em or Fold Em?

Like a great game of poker, knowing when to "Hold... Read More

Love Advice: Are You Frozen in Time?

Falling in love is a process that one cannot stay... Read More

Simple Love Spells

Here are some very simple rituals, some old, and some... Read More

Gag Gifts

Gag gifts can be very funny. They can also cause... Read More

Three Qualities of a Good Relationship

All relationships have some adjustment periods, but being hurt shouldn't... Read More

Relationship Advice: Two Tips for Great Relationships

Relationship Tip 1I've been blessed with working with thousands of... Read More

5 Surefire Ways to Arouse Your Woman

As there are different types of women, there are different... Read More

Real Solutions For Combatting Extreme Shyness

Most people experience some degree of shyness from time to... Read More

How to Get Over a Breakup

This is one of the most difficult parts of a... Read More

Is There Romance In The Zodiac?

Many people know that the zodiac is a circle in... Read More

Finding Love With Feng Shui

If true love has been eluding you, you could increase... Read More

Your Next Argument: 10 Thngs to Consider Before You Get There

1. It's addictive. Fighting, and the anger that comes with... Read More

Christmas Gifts Can Be a Cheating Husbands Undoing

Have you been plagued by the nagging feeling that your... Read More

How to Find Relationship Advice

One thing to keep in mind when seeking relationship advice... Read More

Defining Relationship Commitment for Todays Couples

WHAT IS COMMITMENT?The question of when a relationship is committed... Read More

The Big Secret of Age

Think back to when you were a child. Pick a... Read More

The Narcissist and His Family

We are all members of a few families in our... Read More

Too Many Cooks in the Kitchen After Wife Gets MBA

"Hesh, where is your business plan?" It was a question... Read More

What to Do when Your Family Feels He is Not Good Enough for You

Parents and loved ones always seem to put a damper... Read More

An Introduction to Relationships

"Love makes the world go around" was true when it... Read More

Extramarital Affairs: What Everyone Needs to Know and What You Can Do to Help

Recent statistics suggest that 40% of women (and that number... Read More

Relationship Advice: Wash that (Bad) Man Out of Your Hair

Stuck on a guy who cheats on you? Lies? Claims... Read More