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Relationship Advice: Wash that (Bad) Man Out of Your Hair

Stuck on a guy who cheats on you? Lies? Claims he loves you but can't marry you because a) his wife won't divorce him, b) his last relationship ended so painfully it nearly killed him, or c) he can't make a commitment until his kids are in college?

Here's how to get unstuck:

1) Understand that you have no control over the situation. You can't make a man love you the way you deserve to be loved, you can't keep him faithful, you can't force him to tell the truth. If he's not willing, forget it.

2) Let go. Don't call a man who causes you pain. Don't go looking for him (in other words, stop picking at the pimple). If Aunt Polly asks what happened to that lovely fellow you brought to Cousin Elmer's wedding, tell her he died.

3) Close your heart. Sure, your blood pounds whenever the guy walks into the room, but you can change this. Definitely. Write a list of the things you don't like about him (be honest; there are a couple!). Refer to this list whenever you're tempted to fantasize about him, or worse, contact him. Bring to mind the times he made you feel bad about yourself in 3-dimensional detail.

Your goal is to become indifferent. In other words, you want to get to the point where you'd rather shop for socks than hang out with the guy.

4) Write a list of all things you have going for you: Sense of humor? Compassion? Resourcefulness? Remember every compliment you've ever gotten. Write them down. Whip 'em out whenever you start mooning over What's-His-Name. Know that you're an excellent catch.

5) Take care of yourself. Speak to yourself as you would a beloved child. Wear clothes that honor your body. Eat foods that nourish you. Avoid convenience foods that damage your health and your looks. Buy yourself flowers.

The antidote to being stuck on a bad man is to learn to love yourself enough to stop being attracted to him. The bonus? After a while, you'll start attracting (and being attracted to!) men who really know how to love a woman.

Go for it.

Terry Hernon MacDonald gave up dating losers, schmoozers, and No-Show Joes 16 years ago. She is the author of "How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams." Visit her website at http://www.marrysmart.com. Check out her blog, http://happygirlmusing.blogspot.com. Tune in to her radio show, Romance Talk with Terry, at 11PM/PST Fridays on http://healthylife.net.

In The News:

Spain rescues hundreds of migrants on boats
Sat, 23 Jun 2018 13:59:00 +0100
Spanish authorities have rescued 569 migrants whose boats were attempting to cross from North Africa to Europe.

Grenade thrown at Ethiopia PM: One dead, many hurt
Sat, 23 Jun 2018 11:19:00 +0100
At least 83 people have been injured in an explosion at the first rally of Ethiopia's new prime minister in the capital Addis Ababa.

Saudi Arabia poised to lift ban on women drivers
Sat, 23 Jun 2018 01:44:00 +0100
From midnight on Saturday women will be allowed to drive in ultra conservative Saudi Arabia - it's the only country on Earth where women drivers are currently banned.

Jogger held for two weeks for crossing into US by mistake
Sat, 23 Jun 2018 13:14:00 +0100
A French woman says she ended up being detained for two weeks in the US after crossing the border from Canada by mistake while jogging on a beach.

Two critically hurt in gas explosion felt miles away
Sat, 23 Jun 2018 14:45:00 +0100
Two people have been critically injured after a gas explosion at a house in Ohio.



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