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Managing Miscommunication - Asking The Agreement Question?

A man and woman were trying to move a couch in their home one fine morning, and were not meeting with much success. With mounting frustration in her voice, the woman said "Honey, I don't think we are ever going to get this couch out of the living room." To which he responded, "Out of the living room? I thought we were trying to get it into the living room!"

Many people, myself included, have written and talked about how to handle and resolve conflicts in a relationship. While that is all well and good, what about preventing them in the first place?

I've worked with many couples who have had a discussion about what to do about something and thought they were in agreement. Then one of them acted on those thoughts, only to find out that the other person thought just the opposite was agreed upon. This can create a nice breeding ground for a big fight.

This is where what I have come call the AWIA Approach comes in handy. AWIA stands for Are We In Agreement?

The idea is to end conversations with the question "Are We In Agreement?" As I have had couples practice this one, and as I've used it in my own little laboratory at home, I've found that many times couples think they are in agreement when they are not. Asking the AWIA question cuts through any miscommunication and can cut off any future misunderstanding and conflict.

So give it a try. End the next few conversations with "Are We In Agreement" and see if you like the results.

Jeff Herrring, MS, LMFT is a marriage and family therapist, relationship coach, speaker and nationally syndicated relationship columnist, and founder and CEO of http://www.SecretsofGreatrelationships.com.

You can email Jeff at jeff@jeffherring.com and sign up for his free internet newsletter "Great Relationships Tip of the Week" on his website at http://www.SecretsofGreatRelationships.com

In The News:

All-time temperature records for June broken across Europe
Wed, 26 Jun 2019 12:42:00 +0100
Germany, Poland and the Czech Republic have all set new national temperature records for June as a scorching heatwave escalates in large parts of western and central Europe.

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Thu, 27 Jun 2019 09:01:00 +0100
Angela Merkel was shaking at a public event for the second time in less than two weeks, rekindling concerns over her health.

Boeing facing more problems after fresh software problem
Thu, 27 Jun 2019 04:47:00 +0100
A new software issue has been found in the embattled Boeing 737 Max planes that could mean further delays to getting the aircraft back in the air.

Trump blames Democrats for drowned migrant father and girl
Wed, 26 Jun 2019 19:56:00 +0100
Donald Trump has blamed Democrats for the deaths of a migrant father and his young daughter who were pictured face down in a river as they tried to reach the US.

US-Iran tensions put world 'on brink of serious catastrophe'
Wed, 26 Jun 2019 17:40:00 +0100
The president of Iraq has warned that the world is “on the brink of serious catastrophe” as tensions between Iran and the US escalate in the Gulf.



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