Maintain your old Siemens Hipath system

He?s So Loving (But He Has These Black Moods)

It's strange how often abused women tell you how loving their partner is. Stranger still is that it usually happens after they have talked about extraordinary threats, behaviour or violence to which he has subjected them.

Obviously, it's a denial mechanism, a way of whitewashing his character.

It's also about the hunger for love - a hunger that becomes greater with every abusive outburst. In part, it's about settling for crumbs ? and being grateful ? because you know that the square meal you need is not on offer. But that's not all it is.

Abusive men are generally most demonstrative after a temper tantrum or violent outburst. Once they've got their fury off their chest, they may feel remorse. Briefly. Or they may just worry that they might have 'blown it' this time. So they pull out the stops, putting on the best display of affection they can. The operative word here is display.

I have a little dog who is very loving. Nobody could ever accuse her of being loyal, but she sure is loving. What does that mean in practice? It means that she makes everyone she meets feel special and welcome in her world. She is a delightfully sunny tempered little creature. Especially those people who are terrified of dogs love her.

They love her because she is gentle, affectionate and safe. (The only savagery she ever exhibits is when she attacks the belt of my dressing gown.)

Now, if she were ever to show aggression and attack people's ankles - she really is small - she would not be a loving little dog who 'has these black moods'. She would be A Vicious Dog. (I pray she never will be.)

Abused women live their lives between a rock and a hard place. They feel they have to believe in their partner, because they no longer believe in themselves.

They end up living in a world turned on its head, where intolerable behaviour is excused by emotional incontinence. In this topsy-turvy world, having a black mood gives the abuser carte blanche to inflict it on those closest to him.

Recovery starts when abused women begin to judge their two-legged partner by the same standards that most rational people apply to their four-legged friends.

(C) 2005 Annie Kaszina

Joyful Coaching

An NLP Practitioner and Women's Empowerment Coach, Annie specialises in helping women heal the trauma of the past, so they can enjoy the present and look forward to the future.

Email:annie@joyfulcoaching.com To subscribe to Annie's twice monthly ezine, or order her eBook 'The Woman You Want To Be, go: to http://www.joyfulcoaching.com

In The News:

Russian woman faces additional US govt charge
Tue, 17 Jul 2018 22:18:00 +0100
A Russian citizen is facing further charges after being accused of infiltrating political groups in America.

Mandela Day: Former president remembered
Wed, 18 Jul 2018 01:02:00 +0100
In death as in life Nelson Mandela is both celebrated and revered.

Trump: I mis-spoke over Russia election meddling
Tue, 17 Jul 2018 18:46:00 +0100
Donald Trump has backtracked on his claim that he "didn't see any reason" why Russia would be involved in US election meddling.

Hotel sues victims of Las Vegas massacre
Tue, 17 Jul 2018 17:42:00 +0100
The Las Vegas hotel where gunman Stephen Paddock opened fire on hundreds of festival-goers is suing the victims of the shooting.

British woman impaled by umbrella on windy US beach
Tue, 17 Jul 2018 09:33:00 +0100
A woman from London was impaled by a beach umbrella after it flew towards her due to strong winds on the US east coast, police have said.



tikatoshop.it

Erfahrungen mit Pallhuber Wein
Agen Bola SBOBET Terpercaya

Travel in comfort and at your leisure with CT Airlink Limousine & Car Service for top quality private transportation and exceptional customer service. We operate Sedans, SUVs & Vans for CT Car Services to covering all Connecticut airports including Car Service from CT to Newark Airport , Mohegan Casino Uncasville CT, Foxwoods Casino Mashantucket CT, Manhattan Cruise Terminal NYC, Brooklyn Cruise Terminal NYC and Bayonne Cruise Terminal NJ. CT Airlink hire licensed and friendly chauffeurs who have in-depth knowledge of the Areas.

Diamond Solitaire Rings - The Ultimate In Engagement Rings

There are no better rings to seal your engagement than... Read More

How To Save Your Marriage

Getting married (or beginning an intimate relationship) is, in a... Read More

Relationship Advice: After the Break Up - Creating an Exit Door in Your Heart

Q. It's been over a year since the guy I... Read More

Relationship Spring Cleaning by Susan Sheppard

History doesn't belong in a relationship that is presentMy friend,... Read More

Spice Up Your Relationship Tonight

Every relationship needs relief from the same old bedroom routine... Read More

Relationship Advice: How to Make a Genuine Apology

A genuine apology contains at least four elements: apology, acknowledgment,... Read More

Your Next Argument: 10 Thngs to Consider Before You Get There

1. It's addictive. Fighting, and the anger that comes with... Read More

But Its Just the Guys -- The Importance of Sacrifice in Relationships

If it's a long-term relationship you want, you absolutely must... Read More

How Do We Know When A Relationship Has A Future?

In many instances, we all are "gun shy" after a... Read More

Ulterior Motive

Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 7,... Read More

Honesty Accepted - Deception Denied

We've all done it at one time or another, or... Read More

Victorias Secret Disclosed!

SHHHHHH, don't tell anybody, but, I know the secret.It all... Read More

Are Women Really Superior to Men?

While doing my search for this idea, I came across... Read More

How Can I Get My Partner To Change?

How much energy do you spend trying to get what... Read More

Religious Dating - Traditions and Values

Dating someone with the same religious beliefs as you, can... Read More

The Fine Art of Flirting

Did you know that it is not necessarily your looks... Read More

Relationship Problems Begin With Poor Communication

Many relationship problems often begin with poor communication. Many couples... Read More

Improve Your Relationships Through Vastu

Do you want be in a relationship that brings you... Read More

king Your Relationship Pattern, Part 3

Do you want to put to rest the people and... Read More

Second Fiddle

I have been seeing a married man for the past... Read More

Affairs: Advice for the One Who Strayed

To the spouse who had the affair, it's time for... Read More

Is This The One?

Isn't that the million dollar question? How can I tell... Read More

How Can Empathy Shape Your Values?

One of the most underrated concepts that most people overlook... Read More

Relationship Failing? Consider Your Ways

WhenWe all need to consider our ways. So many times... Read More

Holy Mantrimony

In the last couple of weeks, the catholic war machine... Read More