Maintain your old Siemens Hipath system

He?s So Loving (But He Has These Black Moods)

It's strange how often abused women tell you how loving their partner is. Stranger still is that it usually happens after they have talked about extraordinary threats, behaviour or violence to which he has subjected them.

Obviously, it's a denial mechanism, a way of whitewashing his character.

It's also about the hunger for love - a hunger that becomes greater with every abusive outburst. In part, it's about settling for crumbs ? and being grateful ? because you know that the square meal you need is not on offer. But that's not all it is.

Abusive men are generally most demonstrative after a temper tantrum or violent outburst. Once they've got their fury off their chest, they may feel remorse. Briefly. Or they may just worry that they might have 'blown it' this time. So they pull out the stops, putting on the best display of affection they can. The operative word here is display.

I have a little dog who is very loving. Nobody could ever accuse her of being loyal, but she sure is loving. What does that mean in practice? It means that she makes everyone she meets feel special and welcome in her world. She is a delightfully sunny tempered little creature. Especially those people who are terrified of dogs love her.

They love her because she is gentle, affectionate and safe. (The only savagery she ever exhibits is when she attacks the belt of my dressing gown.)

Now, if she were ever to show aggression and attack people's ankles - she really is small - she would not be a loving little dog who 'has these black moods'. She would be A Vicious Dog. (I pray she never will be.)

Abused women live their lives between a rock and a hard place. They feel they have to believe in their partner, because they no longer believe in themselves.

They end up living in a world turned on its head, where intolerable behaviour is excused by emotional incontinence. In this topsy-turvy world, having a black mood gives the abuser carte blanche to inflict it on those closest to him.

Recovery starts when abused women begin to judge their two-legged partner by the same standards that most rational people apply to their four-legged friends.

(C) 2005 Annie Kaszina

Joyful Coaching

An NLP Practitioner and Women's Empowerment Coach, Annie specialises in helping women heal the trauma of the past, so they can enjoy the present and look forward to the future.

Email:annie@joyfulcoaching.com To subscribe to Annie's twice monthly ezine, or order her eBook 'The Woman You Want To Be, go: to http://www.joyfulcoaching.com

In The News:


Warning: simplexml_load_file() [function.simplexml-load-file]: http://feeds.skynews.com/feeds/rss/world.xml:1: parser error : Document is empty in /home/infob/public_html/includes/rss.php on line 2

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in /home/infob/public_html/includes/rss.php on line 9


tikatoshop.it

Erfahrungen mit Pallhuber Wein
Agen Bola SBOBET Terpercaya

Travel in comfort and at your leisure with CT Airlink Limousine & Car Service for top quality private transportation and exceptional customer service. We operate Sedans, SUVs & Vans for CT Car Services to covering all Connecticut airports including Car Service from CT to Newark Airport , Mohegan Casino Uncasville CT, Foxwoods Casino Mashantucket CT, Manhattan Cruise Terminal NYC, Brooklyn Cruise Terminal NYC and Bayonne Cruise Terminal NJ. CT Airlink hire licensed and friendly chauffeurs who have in-depth knowledge of the Areas.

Youve Been Dumped - Heres How to Get Over It

Weve all been there. Weve fallen in love with somebody... Read More

A Guide to Relationship Quizzes

Sometime in the 1950's, women's magazines started publishing relationship quizzes... Read More

Relationship Advice: Safety, Intimacy, and Fun

When people come in for marriage counseling, they bring their... Read More

10 Clues of an Online Affair

1. Your spouse or partner spends excess time on-line. Who... Read More

Happily Ever After/Real Love

I was 43 years old and still looking for love.... Read More

The Five Second Flirt Technique

The first thing you want to do is to get... Read More

Be Glad That There?s Quarrel in Your Relationship

Is your love relationship smooth? Have the both of you... Read More

Why Didnt He Call?

Dear Lucia,I know I made a stupid mistake but what... Read More

Love or Lust

Do you know what the definition of love is? This... Read More

5 Surefire Ways to Arouse Your Woman

As there are different types of women, there are different... Read More

Relationship Tips: 16 Practical Dramatic Ways to Know if He/She is REALLY Changing

Every relationship hits a snag, or worse, a major crisis... Read More

What is Abuse?

Violence in the family often follows other forms of more... Read More

The Spiritual Connection of True Romance

In the springtime, with the flowers budding and the birds... Read More

The Flames of Love

Suppose you have everything; a good job, good health, good... Read More

Infidelity: Spying is NOT Revenge

Do not use what you find on your cheating spouse... Read More

Dumped? Get Set for a New Life

Welcome to Dumpsville. Population - you!You've been dumped for a... Read More

Breaking Your Relationship Pattern, Part 2

The first step toward being able to attract and create... Read More

How To Tell If Someone You Meet In An Online Profile Or Advert Is Married/Partnered Or A Troll - 1

Subtitle ? A Troll? What the **** is that and... Read More

The 100 Laws

In any group of abused women there's almost always at... Read More

Parasitic Relationship

Something in my life is weighing heavily on my mind,... Read More

A Gift From the Heart of a Friend

She stares at me and then closes her eyes. A... Read More

Eight Ways to be a Better Friend

Being a good friend is a skill we can learn... Read More

The Male Rating System

While not necessarily New Age in nature, Samantha has noticed... Read More

If You Love Me

If you love me, you will keep my commandments?In the... Read More

Self Truth and Your Relationships

Questions and AnswersHow can I learn how to be true... Read More