Maintain your old Siemens Hipath system

Great Relationship Advice: How to Get ?All A?s? in Couples Communication

Mark Twain once said that he believed it was "God's great cosmic joke on humanity when He required men and women to live together in marriage."

When it comes to couples trying to communicate with each other, I believe old Mr. Clements was right on target.

Every day in my office, I watch men and women trying to talk with each other. While from my chair I can understand what each person is trying to say, often times the couple will look like "2 ships passing in the night" in their attempts to understand each other. And then I go home and do the same thing in my own little at-home laboratory.

So let's look at how to go from flunking to getting all A's in couples communication. The four courses (or A's) are: Assumption-Asking-Assimilation-Action.

Assumption

We have all heard the saying that to assume means to make an "ass out of u and me." Did you also know that "assumption is the lowest form of knowledge?"

And still we do it every day with our partners. It happens in at least two ways:

1."Since I know what I like and need, I'll give the same thing to my partner"

. "If my partner really loved me, they would 'just know' what I want and need"

It's one of the main ways we flunk couple communication.

Asking

Let's blow a popular couples myth out of the water right now. You know, the one that goes "it doesn't count if I have to ask." If that's true, then just how are we going to find out? I work with the minds of people all day long, but I still can't read them. Instead, I just ask lots of questions.

Here's a few that I recommend to discover how your partner sees and experiences the world:

"here's what I think you mean. Do I have it right?" "in order to feel the most loved, do you need to see it, feel it, or hear it?" "what does love look like to you" "what do you think is romantic?"

If you don't know, ask. You have to A-S-K to G-E-T.

Assimilation

For our purposes, assimilation means to take the information you asked for and received and make it a part of your "working knowledge" of your partner. Using a computer metaphor, you need to install the information you have learned in your own brain.

Many folks get in trouble when they ask their partner for information, forget to install it, and then have to ask again and again. Whether intended or not, this sends the message that you were not really listening or interested, and/or that you don't really care. Yet another popular method of flunking couples communication.

Action!

I realize this may sound too simple, but once you install this stuff you have got to use it. Knowing what to do and doing it are not the same, they are very different.

Understanding is a good thing. We all like to be understood. But if it stops there, it stops too short of what's needed.

To get an A in this last part of couples communication, you have to put your understanding into action, what I call putting "hands and feet" on what you know.

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

In The News:

Macron caves in to rioters as French taxes cut
Mon, 10 Dec 2018 20:08:00 +0000
Emmanuel Macron has promised to raise the minimum wage as he acknowledged he was partially responsible for weeks of nationwide protests.

Nobel Peace Prize winners: Their plea to the world
Mon, 10 Dec 2018 23:09:00 +0000
A former sex slave and a doctor have been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for their efforts to stop rape and sexual violence being used as weapons of war.

Grace Millane killing: Her body was found 'intact'
Mon, 10 Dec 2018 02:13:00 +0000
A man has appeared in court charged with the murder of British backpacker Grace Millane, as New Zealand's prime minister spoke of an "overwhelming sense of hurt and shame" over her death.

Brit pensioners arrested for drug trafficking on cruise
Tue, 11 Dec 2018 05:14:00 +0000
A British couple have been detained after a "large amount of cocaine" was found on a cruise ship returning from the Caribbean.

Easter Island mayor: Statue should stay in the UK
Mon, 10 Dec 2018 22:33:00 +0000
Easter Island's mayor has said the British Museum might be a better home for a massive native Polynesian statue taken by British sailors 150 years ago.



tikatoshop.it

Erfahrungen mit Pallhuber Wein
Agen Bola SBOBET Terpercaya

Travel in comfort and at your leisure with CT Airlink Limousine & Car Service for top quality private transportation and exceptional customer service. We operate Sedans, SUVs & Vans for CT Car Services to covering all Connecticut airports including Car Service from CT to Newark Airport , Mohegan Casino Uncasville CT, Foxwoods Casino Mashantucket CT, Manhattan Cruise Terminal NYC, Brooklyn Cruise Terminal NYC and Bayonne Cruise Terminal NJ. CT Airlink hire licensed and friendly chauffeurs who have in-depth knowledge of the Areas.

Name That Tune

Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 26,... Read More

The Sound of His Laughter

When you're searching for your Mr. Right, I want you... Read More

Whats The Attraction?

Why do people have affairs? Why not do the 'right'... Read More

3 Stone Diamond Rings ? Three Times As Nice!

It is said that the stones in 3 stone diamond... Read More

What is Abuse?

Violence in the family often follows other forms of more... Read More

Romantic Relationships: An Internal Process

If you grew up in the 80s like I did,... Read More

10 Fast Ways to Re-ignite the Flames of Love

Enhance Romance today.When Men and Women enter into a relationship,... Read More

Relationship Advice - 5 Sure Fire Ways to Mess Things Up

1) Stay committed to your "right to be right."Argue for... Read More

Great Relatinship Advice: The Ability to Create a Vision for Your Relationship

Many of us stumble into marriage and then continue to... Read More

Dont Avoid Conflict and Confrontation with Your Spouse

"I just let him handle things his way." "We're not... Read More

Did Casanova Really Need the Oysters?

Scientists are rubbing their hands together with glee. A recent... Read More

Put-Downs: The Whole Story

What put-downs really areLet me begin by saying what they... Read More

The 4 Stages of a Relationship

1. The Perfect Phase is the first three months. If... Read More

Why Men Cheat

"Big, little or short or tall, Wish I could have... Read More

Unfaithfulness

AS I STARED at the sunset, I marveled at its... Read More

When Someone You Love is Moving

Your best friend moves a thousand miles, your aunt retires... Read More

Great Relationships: How to Get the Spark Back

Losing the spark - simply, if you will, falling out... Read More

Managing Miscommunication - Asking The Agreement Question?

A man and woman were trying to move a couch... Read More

The Egoistic Friend

What are friends for and how can a friendship be... Read More

Who Should Relocate In A Long Distance Relationship?

My Dear Lover,Soon or later, you and your beloved will... Read More

Relationship Problems: Solvable or Unsolvable

Every so often, I will hear a relationship speaker claim... Read More

Relationship Advice: Starter Marriages

A man walking through the woods near a river hears... Read More

Affairs: What an Affair Really Is and What an Affair Really Does

We hear about it all the time - in magazines,... Read More

Youve Been Dumped - Heres How to Get Over It

Weve all been there. Weve fallen in love with somebody... Read More

Reading Each Others Mind

I cannot tell you how many times I have heard... Read More