Maintain your old Siemens Hipath system

Better Than Help

One thing that women in abusive relationships and their family and friends frequently request is 'help'; help to change the situation. While I understand, and can relate only too well, to their sentiment, the term 'help' makes me feel uncomfortable.

Perhaps I can clarify what I mean with an example. A woman I know believes she has found her big idea and her mission. She is constantly looking for people to 'help' her to realise her dream. (She doesn't feel that she can take charge of realising her dream herself.) So people constantly find her who promise help, but first expect her to help them - generally by paying significant sums of money towards some ill defined scheme of theirs; in very short order.

The problem with 'help' is when it is a cover for dependence. By 'help' we mean someone who will take at least partial responsibility for what we want to do. We look for this 'help', or powerful intervention, when we doubt our own adequacy.

Freeing yourself from an abusive relationship is no small matter. But looking for 'help' to do it, can lead to further disappointment. Unless you are clear about precisely what you mean and the limits of what you can expect, you may feel that what is out there is rather less than you were wishing for.

First off, any woman will need practical advice, about how to manage leaving the relationship. It is well worth becoming familiar with the information available through domestic violence organisations, like www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/domesticviolence.html.

Then, they will need practical support of the kind provided by a Refuge or Domestic Violence Support Group.

They will also need understanding of the trauma they have been through and the effect that it has had on them. They will need to understand that the very low opinion they have of themselves is all part of the trauma and can be reversed. An understanding of the mechanics of abuse is available through Domestic Violence Support groups and books such as Sandra Horley's 'The Charm Factor' and Robin Norwood's 'Women Who Love Too Much'.

They will need to internalise how this applies to them. This tends to be a longer process, requiring in depth work with someone with an understanding of this particular field, someone who specialises in working with survivors of abusive relationships.

Finally, they need to learn how to recreate their faith in, and love for, themselves. They have to build a strong foundation of self-worth and self-trust. This may sound like the hardest part of all, but it doesn't have to be. Once they have access to the appropriate tools, making the shift from hopelessness to self-realisation and positiveness becomes almost effortless.

Annie Kaszina

Joyful Coaching

An NLP Practitioner and Women's Empowerment Coach, Annie specialises in helping women who have survived abusive relationships heal relationship pain so they can reach their full emotional and personal stature.

Email:annie@joyfulcoaching.com Websites: http://www.joyfulcoaching.com, http://www.anniekaszina.com To order Annie's eBook 'The Woman You Want To Be', or subscribe to Annie's free, twice monthly ezine, go to: http://www.joyfulcoaching.com

In The News:

Trump says Kim summit could be delayed
Tue, 22 May 2018 17:48:00 +0100
President Donald Trump says the planned Singapore summit with North Korea's Kim Jong Un could be delayed.

Sky News live from N Korea before nuclear site demolition
Tue, 22 May 2018 07:47:00 +0100
Sky News has broadcast live from North Korea ahead of the state's demolition of a nuclear test site.

What we know about N Korea's secretive nuclear site
Tue, 22 May 2018 14:59:00 +0100
Sky News is the only British broadcaster invited to North Korea's Punggye-ri nuclear site as it is dismantled.

Fried turtle and minders - reporting in N Korea
Tue, 22 May 2018 10:04:00 +0100
North Korea may be offering unprecedented access but it is still determined to maintain full control of the journalists here.

'Sulphur and caramelised foliage': Hawaii under Kilauea's threat
Tue, 22 May 2018 06:04:00 +0100
The north east corner of Hawaii's Big Island is a beautiful and strange place.



tikatoshop.it

Erfahrungen mit Pallhuber Wein
Agen Bola SBOBET Terpercaya

Travel in comfort and at your leisure with CT Airlink Limousine & Car Service for top quality private transportation and exceptional customer service. We operate Sedans, SUVs & Vans for CT Car Services to covering all Connecticut airports including Car Service from CT to Newark Airport , Mohegan Casino Uncasville CT, Foxwoods Casino Mashantucket CT, Manhattan Cruise Terminal NYC, Brooklyn Cruise Terminal NYC and Bayonne Cruise Terminal NJ. CT Airlink hire licensed and friendly chauffeurs who have in-depth knowledge of the Areas.

Are You Living An Illusion Romance Like Lisa Snowdon and George Clooney?

My Dear Lover,Today I am sad, I don't have good... Read More

Catch A Cheating Husband the Easy Affordable Way

Many women mistakenly believe they need to hire a private... Read More

What Keeps Couples Together

There are several things you can do, especially when your... Read More

She Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

Who Is Some Who Loves You?1. Someone who sees the... Read More

Ive Gotta Hand It to You

What would I do without my wife? Not much. What... Read More

Relationship Advice: How to Make a Genuine Apology

A genuine apology contains at least four elements: apology, acknowledgment,... Read More

Recharging Your Relationship

Now you may ask why we would write an article... Read More

Is Your Relationship Worth Fighting For

Sometimes when a relationship has gone sour, our efforts are... Read More

Long Distance Relationships ? Not Always a Bad Thing

You hate it, but it's happened ? the love of... Read More

What Type of a Kisser Are You?

As we all know, there are many types of kiss.... Read More

Calling All Single Parents! Why not Try Online Dating?

Forming a relationship when you're a single mother or father... Read More

Why He May Be Cheating On You

Why He May Be Cheating On YouThere could be all... Read More

Real Solutions For Combatting Extreme Shyness

Most people experience some degree of shyness from time to... Read More

The Key to Ending Pain With Others

It has taken me 40 years to learn exactly how... Read More

Relationship Failing? Consider Your Ways

WhenWe all need to consider our ways. So many times... Read More

Relationship Advice: Why Brad and Jen Broke Up and What We Can Learn from Them

It's been a few months since the riveting headlines: The... Read More

Spice Up Your Relationship Tonight

Every relationship needs relief from the same old bedroom routine... Read More

Infidelity: Spying is NOT Revenge

Do not use what you find on your cheating spouse... Read More

Blondes Talking About Blondes!

What is it about blondes that both sexes find so... Read More

I Want to Love Him... But Hes So Far Away

Okay, who are we kidding. Long-distance relationships are not supposed... Read More

How To Save Your Marriage

Getting married (or beginning an intimate relationship) is, in a... Read More

Russian Brides - Who Are They?

In recent years, thousands of young Russian and Ukrainian women... Read More

Great Relationship Advice: How to Balance Your Hear at Work with Your Heart at Home

Remember the Tom Cruise movie "Jerry Maguire?"From my seat in... Read More

The Top 10 Ways to Keep Passion in Your Relationship

All long-term relationships go through a variety of phases. There... Read More

20 Tips to Keep Love Alive

Have you ever been at a loss to think of... Read More