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Affairs: Advice for the One Who Strayed

To the spouse who had the affair, it's time for what I call a multilevel apology.

Anyone can say "I'm sorry," and it's important those words are spoken. Then follow up with an acknowledgment of the pain you caused and a commitment to never let it happen again.

In order to rebuild trust, you must be willing to live under a microscope for an indeterminate time. It will stink and be very uncomfortable. But it's a necessary part of rebuilding trust.

One of the first rules of living under a microscope is to avoid doing anything that will increase the magnification.

You must break all ties to the person with whom you had an affair. Sometimes this is easy, other times it is not.

If you work in the same office or go to the same church, make sure you are NEVER alone together. If you find you're tempted to continue the relationship, I have a three-word suggestion:

Run like hell!

I worked with a couple once where the man ended up alone in an office with the woman with whom he had had an affair. When it became crystal clear she was trying to pull him back in, he literally ran out of the room. He may have looked silly and even been embarrassed, but he saved both his integrity and his marriage.

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e special report on the 10 Warning Signs of an Emotional Affair from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

In The News:

Trump's speech puts him at odds with the UN
Tue, 25 Sep 2018 17:06:00 +0100
President Donald Trump, a man who talks so often about the importance of being treated respectfully, will not have enjoyed the spontaneous giggles erupting from diplomats and heads of state as he addressed the UN.

Cosby led away in handcuffs after being jailed for up to 10 years
Tue, 25 Sep 2018 19:12:00 +0100
Television actor Bill Cosby has been jailed for up to a decade for sexually assaulting a woman in 2004.

Hundreds of daily attacks as corpses 'left rotting under rubble'
Tue, 25 Sep 2018 15:53:00 +0100
The intensity of a Russia-backed assault on a former rebel stronghold in Syria using suspected chemical weapons and cluster bombs has been laid bare in a new report.

Trump: Top court pick is 'one of the highest quality people'
Tue, 25 Sep 2018 18:16:00 +0100
Donald Trump has again backed Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh over a claim of sexual assault, describing him as "one of the highest quality people".

Swedish PM ousted after losing no confidence vote
Tue, 25 Sep 2018 10:13:00 +0100
Sweden's centre-left prime minister will be forced to step down after losing parliament's support in a vote of no confidence.



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