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Parenting: 6 Observations on Fatherhood

Just the other day my oldest son asked:

"Daddy, am I old enough to call you Dad?"

Won't be long now before he is asking for the car keys.......

Here are a few things I'm learning as well as some important things I've discovered so far about this thing called fathering.

1. You really have to give up the myth of quality time vs quantity time. By the time the average child is 7 years old, they have watched 20,000 commercials. Given that amount of influence, infrequent "quality time" just doesn't cut it. It has to be quantity time that's of high quality.

2. As a dad you have been influenced and effected by the generations of fathering that went on before you. By the same token, the fathering we do will not effect only the children in our home. The job we do as fathers, for better or worse, will effect generations to come.

3. Sue Shellenbarer, a columnist for The Wall Street Journal has coined the phrase the "tomorrow trap." She describes the tomorrow trap as "living for the future, taking refuge in visions of a relaxed and rewarding personal and family life somewhere down the road.....a kind of mirage that people chase while in reality they are burying themselves in work and other pursuits."

Ouch. Sounds familiar to me, how about you? As dads we have to remember that not only does "someday" never come, it's not even on the calendar. Spend the savored time now, because today is here.

4. Some of us may not have had the best model for a dad in our own father, or perhaps no model at all. That's sad and painful. What it is not is an excuse. It can be a springboard for change. Whatever has been handed down to us, we can decide to change in this generation. There is so much information available now on how to do this dad thing.

5. Just he other day a father asked me "how do I play with my little kids." While it's sad that the question has to be asked, the answer is really quite simple. Get down on the floor with them, and let them lead. You follow.

6. "Daddy's home!" are two of the best words in the English language.

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

In The News:

Trump's climbdown causes confusion at US border
Fri, 22 Jun 2018 19:07:00 +0100
An executive order signed by Donald Trump to stop children being separated from their families at the US border has caused confusion among officials attempting to maintain the president's "zero-tolerance" immigration policy.

Fear is front and centre of immigration debate
Fri, 22 Jun 2018 23:09:00 +0100
Donald Trump was never going to spend an entire week on the defensive - he just doesn't do that.

Saudi Arabia poised to lift ban on women drivers
Sat, 23 Jun 2018 01:44:00 +0100
From midnight on Saturday women will be allowed to drive in ultra conservative Saudi Arabia - it's the only country on Earth where women drivers are currently banned.

Anti-virus software pioneer says he has been poisoned
Sat, 23 Jun 2018 07:46:00 +0100
Anti-virus software pioneer and former US presidential hopeful John McAfee has said he was unconscious for two days after "enemies" tried to kill him.

Migrant rescue ship Lifeline stranded at sea
Fri, 22 Jun 2018 21:24:00 +0100
Just five days after the migrants aboard rescue ship Aquarius finally disembarked in Spain, another rescue boat is at sea with nowhere to dock.



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