Maintain your old Siemens Hipath system

How to Stop Bad Behavior Before it Starts

Coping with a child's bad behavior, perhaps more than any other aspect of parenting, can cause stress, family disfunction, and a general loss of harmony in your home. Over time, negative behavior cycles can become ingrained in a family's way of interacting with each other
1. Be a Benevolent Dictator
In today's times it is tempting to think of our family as a small Democracy, giving equal weight to the wants and needs of every member. Families schedule meetings to discuss rules. Negotiation is a skill learned even before tying shoes. Rules apply only if children choose to obey them. Giving children lots of choices seems to be of paramount importance. Parents who operate these types of Democracies think that they are showing their children love and respect. In fact, what these parents are showing their children is that they don't have the fortitude to do what is right.

This approach belies the fact that we parents usually have decades more life experience than our children, we have had more education, and we are more mature (hopefully). In short, we should be the ones in charge. Contrary to what children might say, they in fact, want us to be in charge. They know better than anyone what their limitations are, and if they are given too much responsibility, it scares them. Imagine how you would feel if you were suddenly put in charge of a small country in a foreign land. You might feel powerful, but I dare say, you wouldn't feel secure. It's like being the captain of a sailboat and not knowing how to sail. Eventually you would run aground.

Research has shown that in order to raise well-adjusted kids, parents need to be authoritative. Authoritative parents were described as people whose motto is, "I love and respect you, but since I am the parent, you have to do what I say regardless of whether you agree with me." Taking this type of approach with your child ensures that they know they are loved, and that they will be saved from making bad choices because they have a parent looking out for them. Setting limits for your kids makes the world more manageable for them. They feel safer knowing what the boundaries are, and in knowing that they have your help to stay within them.

2. Consistency is Key
Choose a small number of rules that are absolute and stick to them! These rules should be non-negotiable and carry with them clear and immediate consequences if they are broken. In my family, rules about safety are set in stone. If you ride your bike without a helmet, you lose bike privileges for a week. No exceptions. This way I know my child is always going to wear his helmet, and I save myself the hassle of arguing with him each day after school about whether he can ride his bike without it.

A psychologist I know stated that the surest way to have kids who misbehave is to be inconsistent. By having limits that are fluid and that change depending on circumstances, kids spend most of their time with you testing those limits. They know that sooner or later, they'll wear you out, and they'll get what they want. So, if you want to be worn out day after day, then the secret is to be wishy-washy about rules. If you don't want to battle day after day with your kids, then set good rules and stick to them!

3. Know Your Child
Every child has a unique style which includes their own set of triggers for bad behavior. For my son, transitions always cause him to become unglued. A temper tantrum always ensued at the end of play dates, the beginning of a school day, or the call to the dinner table. So, I learned early on that to avoid that type of misbehavior, I needed to be savvy about transitions. I give plenty of warning before a transition, and I usually sweeten the deal to make it easier. For example, I play his favorite music in the car on the way to school so that he focuses on looking forward to his songs rather than his nerves about having to leave the house and head to class.

Your child might have similar issues with transitions, or she may act up when tired or hungry. Your child might feel uncomfortable in crowds, be afraid of loud noises, or become easily overwhelmed in stores. By knowing your child's triggers for bad behavior, you'll know what to avoid. For those things you can't avoid, you'll at least be able to develop helpful strategies for coping with problems.

4. Know Yourself
In addition to being in tune with your child's style, you need to be aware of what your particular needs are. It will always lead to trouble if you expect lots of peace and quiet after work, but your kids need your help with homework and a ride to soccer. If you are tense and irritable, it will most certainly translate to misbehavior in your kids. Busy schedules rarely enable parents to have a peaceful dinner hour, but perhaps you can insist on twenty minutes to unwind in your room before you join the fray downstairs. My mother made a rule that we couldn't ask anything of her until she had changed into her jeans. That was our signal that she had decompressed after work and was ready to engage in the family hubbub.

5. Pay Attention
Children often misbehave simply to get their parents' attention. Though it confounds adults, children would rather be yelled at than be ignored. Perhaps it is Darwinian-in the wild, to be ignored by a parent meant that you weren't safe. Whatever its origin, this aspect of child-rearing can be especially trying. Negative cycles can so easily begin by a child learning that acting up is the surest way to get a parent's attention. The only way to avoid this is to lavish love and attention on your child when they are behaving well. Enjoy their company and play games with them. Praise them with words and gestures often. Reward your child with special activities with you-not with toys and treats. If you sense that your children are acting up more than they should, then that is a sign that you need to stop waiting for your children to misbehave before you give them your attention. With all the love and attention from you that they need, there won't be many reasons to misbehave!

Katie Basson is a parent, teacher, and creator of The BITs Kit Better Behavior Kit for Kids?. Katie teaches seminars on behavior modification techniques, and assists parents through challenging behavioral and educational issues. She serves on the Board of Directors of the YWCA and is an educational advisor to Zoesis, Inc., a children's software company. Katie's expert advice has been sought for articles in The Boston Globe and Parents Magazine. Sign up for her biweekly Parenting Solutions newsletter at www.bitskit.com.

In The News:

170 migrants feared dead in Mediterranean sinkings
Sat, 19 Jan 2019 16:01:00 +0000
Up to 170 migrants are feared dead after two accidents in which dinghies sank in the Mediterranean after leaving North Africa for Europe.

'Hostage-taking': Democrats reject Trump's offer to end shutdown
Sat, 19 Jan 2019 20:59:00 +0000
Donald Trump has offered to extend temporary protection for people brought to the US illegally as children in a bid to end the government shutdown.

Fire kills two in ski resort popular with Brits
Sun, 20 Jan 2019 09:58:00 +0000
Two people have been killed after a large fire broke out in the upmarket French ski resort of Courchevel.

Bomb blast at military checkpoint in Damascus
Sun, 20 Jan 2019 08:15:00 +0000
A bomb has exploded outside a military checkpoint in the Syrian capital Damascus.

'Syria's children are its future but it's they who have suffered most'
Sat, 19 Jan 2019 14:35:00 +0000
Hamish de Bretton-Gordon is a chemical weapons expert and formerly an officer in the British Army commanding the UK's regiment to deal with chemical weapons defence regiment.



tikatoshop.it

Erfahrungen mit Pallhuber Wein
Agen Bola SBOBET Terpercaya

Travel in comfort and at your leisure with CT Airlink Limousine & Car Service for top quality private transportation and exceptional customer service. We operate Sedans, SUVs & Vans for CT Car Services to covering all Connecticut airports including Car Service from CT to Newark Airport , Mohegan Casino Uncasville CT, Foxwoods Casino Mashantucket CT, Manhattan Cruise Terminal NYC, Brooklyn Cruise Terminal NYC and Bayonne Cruise Terminal NJ. CT Airlink hire licensed and friendly chauffeurs who have in-depth knowledge of the Areas.

EEG Biofeedback as a Treatment for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

In this form of treatment for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder... Read More

Child Communication Skill: Do You Really Know What Your Child Is Saying To You?

Here's the scene of communication with your child: your three-year-old... Read More

Delightful Defrazzlers

I will cherish this moment. I will not let it... Read More

8 Tips To Save On Child Care Costs

Child care costs are are one of the most expensive... Read More

What Do You Teach Your Children About Money?

Whether we realize it or not we teach our children... Read More

Bird Flu Pandemic

What are the easiest things citizens can do to prevent... Read More

Humans and Their Innate Need for Drug Stimulation

We know that ancient cultures and Indians and the like... Read More

Kids And Chores - Make It Easy On Yourself!

My neighbours' kid impressed me the other day.I was busy... Read More

Swing Sets and Outdoor Play Equipment- 5 Essential Tips Before You Buy

For first time parents choosing a swing set or outdoor... Read More

Spending Time With Your Child

Why Is Spending Time with Your Child So Important?For children... Read More

From Go Fast Kids to Calm Kids

How excited do kids get with the start of school... Read More

Maximizing Your ADHD Childs Performance in School.

As a parent there are lots of things that you... Read More

Treatment Options for ADHD

Ritalin has been shown through the years to be very... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: What Parents Say About Teens

What is hard for parentsLetting them learn from their mistakes.Trying... Read More

Planning the Ultimate Kid Birthday Party

Child Party Planning Guideline #1)Pick the ThemeYour child is going... Read More

A Place For Everything: Its Childs Play

What parent hasn't gone into a son's or daughter's room... Read More

Homework Doesn?t Have to Be a Battle of Wills

Homework. It doesn't have to be a daily battle of... Read More

Teenagers in America Today

"Family Matters" was the headline that caught my attention in... Read More

The Worlds Greatest Dad

You are in the final round of your favorite game... Read More

Work Before Play

Many families, ours included, have learned that breakfast is eaten... Read More

Advantages of Using a Board Certified Pediatrician

When a child is born, a new number is added... Read More

No Invitation Needed: Sacred Children Series - 3 of 3

I had my first two children on either side of... Read More

School Holiday Survival Guide

The school holidays are a great time for the kids,... Read More

Tracking Your Child Progress

As a parent, you can learn a lot about your... Read More

Busy, Working Parents --- 22 Ways To Homeschool Your Kids

If you're a single parent or a married couple on... Read More