Maintain your old Siemens Hipath system

Five Habits of Highly Effective Conflict Resolvers

Steven Covey had the right idea. There are discreet skills and attitudes, habits if you will, that can elevate your conflict practice to a new level. This article shares a selection of habits and attitudes that can transform a good conflict resolver into a highly effective one. By that I mean someone who facilitates productive, meaningful discussion between others that results in deeper self-awareness, mutual understanding and workable solutions.

I have used the term 'conflict resolver' intentionally to reienforce the idea that human resource professionals and managers are instrumental in ending disputes, regardless of whether they are also mediators. These conflict management techniques are life skills that are useful in whatever setting you find yourself. With these skills, you can create environments that are respectful, collaborative and conducive to problem-solving. And, you'll teach your employees to be proactive, by modeling successful conflict management behaviors.

1. UNDERSTAND THE EMPLOYEE'S NEEDS

Since you're the 'go to person' in your organization, it's natural for you to jump right in to handle conflict. When an employee visits you to discuss a personality conflict, you assess a situation, determine the next steps and proceed until the problem is solved. But is that helpful?

When you take charge, the employee is relieved of his or her responsibility to find a solution. That leaves you to do the work around finding alternatives. And while you want to do what's best for this person (and the organization), it's important to ask what the employee wants first-- whether it's to vent, brainstorm solutions or get some coaching. Understand what the person entering your door wants by asking questions:

? How can I be most helpful to you?

? What are you hoping I will do?

? What do you see my role as in this matter?

2. ENGAGE IN COLLABORATIVE LISTENING

By now everyone has taken at least one active listening course so I won't address the basic skills. Collaborative Listening takes those attending and discerning skills one step further. It recognizes that in listening each person has a job that supports the work of the other. The speaker's job is to clearly express his or her thoughts, feelings and goals. The listener's job is facilitating clarity; understanding and make the employee feel heard.

So what's the difference? The distinction is acknowledgement. Your role is to help the employee gain a deeper understanding of her own interests and needs; to define concepts and words in a way that expresses her values (i.e. respect means something different to each one of us); and to make her feel acknowledged-someone sees things from her point of view.

Making an acknowledgement is tricky in corporate settings. Understandably, you want to help the employee but are mindful of

the issues of corporate liability. You can acknowledge the employee even while safeguarding your company.

Simply put, acknowledgement does not mean agreement. It means letting the employee know that you can see how he got to his truth. It doesn't mean taking sides with the employee or abandoning your corporate responsibilities. Acknowledgement can be the bridge across misperceptions. Engage in Collaborative Listening by:

? Help the employee to explore and be clear about his interests and goals

? Acknowledge her perspective

o I can see how you might see it that way.

o That must be difficult for you.

o I understand that you feel _______ about this.

? Ask questions that probe for deeper understanding on both your parts:

o When you said x, what did you mean by that?

o If y happens, what's significant about that for you?

o What am I missing in understanding this from your perspective?

3. BE A GOOD TRANSMITTER

Messages transmitted from one person to the next are very powerful. Sometimes people have to hear it 'from the horse's mouth'. Other times, you'll have to be the transmitter of good thoughts and feelings. Pick up those 'gems', those positive messages that flow when employees feel safe and heard in mediation, and present them to the other employee. Your progress will improve.

We're all human. You know how easy it is to hold a grudge, or assign blame. Sharing gems appropriately can help each employee begin to shift their perceptions of the situation, and more importantly, of each other. To deliver polished gems, try to:

? Act soon after hearing the gem

? Paraphrase accurately so the words aren't distorted

? Ask the listener if this is new information and if changes her stance

? Avoid expecting the employees to visibly demonstrate a 'shift in stance' (it happens internally and on their timetable, not ours)

4. RECOGNIZE POWER

Power is a dominant factor in mediation that raises many questions: What is it? Who has it? How to do you balance power? Assumptions about who is the 'powerful one' are easy to make and sometimes wrong. Skillful conflict resolvers recognize power dynamics in conflicts and are mindful about how to authentically manage them. You can recognize power by being aware that:

? Power is fluid and exchangeable

? Employees possess power over the content and their process (think of employees concerns as the water flowing into and being held by the container)

? Resolvers possess power over the mediation process (their knowledge, wisdom, experience, and commitment form the container)

? Your roles as an HR professional and resolver will have a significant impact on power dynamics

5. BE OPTIMISTIC & RESILIENT

Agreeing to participate in mediation is an act of courage and hope. By participating, employees are conveying their belief in value of the relationship. They are also expressing their trust in you to be responsive to and supportive of our efforts. Employees may first communicate their anger, frustration, suffering, righteousness, regret, not their best hopes. You can inspire them to continue by being optimistic:

? Be positive about your experiences with mediation ? Hold their best wishes and hopes for the future ? Encourage them to work towards their hopes

Be Resilient. Remember the last time you were stuck in a conflict? You probably replayed the conversation in your mind over and over, thinking about different endings and scolding yourself. Employees get stuck, too. In fact, employees can become so worn down and apathetic about their conflict, especially a long-standing dispute; they'd do anything to end it.

Yes, even agree with each other prematurely. Don't let them settle. Mediation is about each employee getting their interest met. Be resilient:

? Be prepared to move yourself and the employees though productive and less productive cycles of the mediation

? Help the employees see their movement and progress

? Be mindful and appreciative of the hard work you all are doing

Hopefully, you've discovered that these are your own habits in one form or another and that your organization is benefiting from your knowledge. You can learn more about workplace mediation and mediation in general from these books and websites:

The Power of Mediation Bringing Peace into the Room Difficult Conversation: How to Say What Matters Most www.ne-acr.org (The New England Association of Conflict Resolvers) www.mediate.com (mediation portal site) www.workwelltogether.com (conflict management toolkit)

"Mediation is based on a belief in the fundamental honesty of human beings. Which is another way of saying we all want to be treated justly - that is according to our unique situation and viewpoint on the world. And we cannot expect to be treated justly if we do not honestly reveal ourselves." ~ the Honourable Neville Chamberlain, British Prime Minister 1937

Dina Beach Lynch, Esq., CEO of WorkWellTogether.com, is a mediator, trainer and coach. Get advice and support using the Five Habits at her teleseminar on 10/26/04. For more information and register, visit WorkWellTogether.com

In The News:

IS 'decimated' and down to last mile of territory - Pence
Sat, 16 Feb 2019 10:50:00 +0000
The Islamic State caliphate has been "decimated" and the last mile of IS-controlled territory in Syria is being captured by American-backed forces, says US vice president Mike Pence.

'I don't trust anyone': The British women who married IS jihadis
Fri, 15 Feb 2019 17:28:00 +0000
Reema Iqbal is talking to us from behind the plastic sheeting which marks the tented area which is now her home in Roj camp in northeast Syria.

Militants using civilians as shields delay capture of final IS enclave
Fri, 15 Feb 2019 16:14:00 +0000
Hundreds of civilians still living in Islamic State's final enclave have emerged and are being used as human shields - forcing US-backed troops to delay capturing the village.

Nigeria postpones presidential election at last minute
Sat, 16 Feb 2019 03:16:00 +0000
Nigeria's presidential election has been postponed just hours before polls were due to open.

'We're waiting for you': Sala's body flown home as town prepares for funeral
Sat, 16 Feb 2019 01:23:00 +0000
The funeral of Emiliano Sala who died in a plane crash over the English Channel is set to take place in Argentina later.



tikatoshop.it

Erfahrungen mit Pallhuber Wein
Agen Bola SBOBET Terpercaya

Travel in comfort and at your leisure with CT Airlink Limousine & Car Service for top quality private transportation and exceptional customer service. We operate Sedans, SUVs & Vans for CT Car Services to covering all Connecticut airports including Car Service from CT to Newark Airport , Mohegan Casino Uncasville CT, Foxwoods Casino Mashantucket CT, Manhattan Cruise Terminal NYC, Brooklyn Cruise Terminal NYC and Bayonne Cruise Terminal NJ. CT Airlink hire licensed and friendly chauffeurs who have in-depth knowledge of the Areas.

The Death Spiral

Sometimes things just happen. Maybe we lose focus and take... Read More

Do Customers Like the Feel of Your Organization?

In two recent articles "Some Evidence of How We Are... Read More

Learn to Assert Yourself

Pinpoint your own blocks to assertiveness: fear of disapproval, need... Read More

Think it Over

You can't solve a problem with the... Read More

Why People Resist Us

There's a one-word reason most ideas never see the light... Read More

Why Your Company Needs An E-Mail Policy

Everyone at the office thought that using the company e-mail... Read More

Understanding Every Aspect of Your Organization

GET TO KNOW YOUR ORGANIZATION: If you don't understand an... Read More

Working with Hearing Impaired Employees - Giving Them a Fair Go

Hearing impaired people often encounter difficulty at work because their... Read More

Employee Motivation - Access Their Unique Talents

Your people are invaluable to you. They are the lifeblood... Read More

Middle Managers Behaving Badly ? How To Stop This Damaging Your Results

More and more I hear and read about a looming... Read More

Great Employees = Passionate Consumers

Companies spend millions of dollars each year identifying their brand,... Read More

Is Your Business A Dysfunctional Family?

The other day I brought my mother into an appliance... Read More

Why Would Anyone Hold a Bad Meeting?

Pssst, want a stock tip that will make you rich?... Read More

Why I always Keep my Promises

Integrity is very important to me, and I try hard... Read More

He Hate Me: Turning Their Bad Attitude Into Your Great Results

"He Hate Me" was the nickname of Rod Smart, a... Read More

Four Corners of a Triangle: Why Organizations Succeed or Fail

When we want to hire people for a corporation or... Read More

Cheat Sheet; Understanding The MSDS and Your Obligations In The Workplace To Employees

MSDS SHEETSMSDS stands for Material Safety Data Sheets. MSDS sheets... Read More

Developing Your Management Style

One thing a lot of us don't do in sales... Read More

Communication in Business

Effective communication in business is not about creating the perfect... Read More

Whadda Jerk!

If one does not understand a person, one tends to... Read More

Help Your Employees Prepare for a Performance Appraisal

PREPARING EMPLOYEES FOR THE PERFORMANCE APPRAISAL INTERVIEWS: Remind employees to... Read More

Behavioral Interview Questions You Can Use Monday Morning

If past behavior is the best way to determine future... Read More

Your Biggest Problem in Business? Work Ethic

US Work Ethic Issues and Lack of serviceWell many... Read More

Managing Group Meetings

MANAGING SMALL MEETINGS: Keep the size of the meeting as... Read More

You?re Hired, Now Go Home: Managing Workers at a Distance

Telecommuting or virtual work opens up a wider net of... Read More