Maintain your old Siemens Hipath system

Put To The Sword

Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 23, 2002

My girlfriend has an aggressive sense of humor. She teases and likes to parry put-downs. She says it is all in fun, and it is very important that she can joke with her partner. She thinks I am thin-skinned and overly sensitive.

Indeed I know I am sensitive, but this is a vicious circle which makes me more and more sensitive. No doubt this kind of dialogue is very common amongst some people. I witness it almost daily with friends or certain colleagues.

To me there are limits and obviously my limits are different than hers. I'm working on being less sensitive, but the only way to do that is to numb myself, which doesn't give her the participation she wants. She says she will try to do it less, but it always comes back.

I do not think she believes there is a problem on her side. She's said she wants this in a relationship, and if I can't handle it, maybe we aren't right for each other. Other parts of our relationship are great, but I don't understand why a clearly negative behavior is so important, especially for an intelligent person.


Albert, your girlfriend is good at swordplay, but she can't fence by herself. She wants you to play so she can feel good about herself. She has a fondness for something hurtful. That says more about her character than you realize.

There is a difference between humor and wit. Humor puts us in the same boat as the other person, while wit throws us out of the boat and into the water with the sharks. That is why humorists are often loved, while wits are often quoted but seldom loved.

Your girlfriend is a wit. She is not too thick-skinned to realize she hurts others. Most likely she simply doesn't care. Making you wince is part of her nature. Look for a girlfriend who wants to row the boat with you, not feed you to the fishes.


Love And Money

I have been in a relationship for two years. Early on my boyfriend became angry about picking up the tab, even though I offered many times and he turned me down. We worked through that and I try to be aware of equality.

Recently we were driving to a party for a coworker. I also consider her a friend. My boyfriend drove, as he always turns down my invitation to drive. In route to the party he glanced down at me programming my mobile phone, and we heard a big bump. The car had hit something.

We could not determine what it was and thought perhaps he had scraped a mailbox close to the road. Later we realized that a deer hit the car. Two days later he was parked and someone backed into the other side of his car.

He took the car in and his insurance company is making him pay the deductible of $250. My dilemma is that he thinks I should pay half because we were going to my friend's party. I am appalled. What do you think?


Cammie, when most people read "A Christmas Carol," they identify with someone who feels the joy of the season, like Bob Cratchit. Your boyfriend identifies with Ebenezer Scrooge.

In Dickens' tale, the Ghost of Christmas Past shows Scrooge how he lost his chance for love. Scrooge sees the woman who once promised herself to him saying, "Another idol has replaced me?a golden one." Your boyfriend's miserly approach to love may lead him to the same fate.

Driving carries a responsibility which cannot be assigned to another, and with a second accident, chances are your boyfriend would still be out the deductible. The measure of love is generosity, and yet there is a paradox. In a successful relationship each party should feel they receive more than they give.


About The Author

Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at

Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email:

In The News:

New Zealand orders 1.2 million sq cm of skin to treat volcano patients
Wed, 11 Dec 2019 05:30:00 +0000
New Zealand has ordered 1.2 million sq cm of skin from America to treat patients suffering burns on up to 95% of their body after Monday's volcano eruption.

NZ volcano: Details of those killed, missing and injured emerge
Tue, 10 Dec 2019 09:11:00 +0000
Six people are now known to have died following a volcanic eruption on White Island in New Zealand.

Greta Thunberg responds to Brazil's president calling her a 'brat'
Tue, 10 Dec 2019 17:38:00 +0000
Brazil's president has called climate campaigner Greta Thunberg "a brat" after she tweeted about the murder of two indigenous people in the Amazon.

Massive ice melt in Greenland will 'expose 400 million people to flooding'
Tue, 10 Dec 2019 14:04:00 +0000
Around 400 million people will be exposed to coastal flooding each year by the end of the century if Greenland continues losing ice at its current rate, scientists have warned.

Jewish supermarket 'targeted' in New Jersey gun battle
Tue, 10 Dec 2019 21:16:00 +0000
A Kosher supermarket is thought to have been deliberately targeted in a shoot out in New Jersey that left six people dead.

Erfahrungen mit Pallhuber Wein
Agen Bola SBOBET Terpercaya

Travel in comfort and at your leisure with CT Airlink Limousine & Car Service for top quality private transportation and exceptional customer service. We operate Sedans, SUVs & Vans for CT Car Services to covering all Connecticut airports including Car Service from CT to Newark Airport , Mohegan Casino Uncasville CT, Foxwoods Casino Mashantucket CT, Manhattan Cruise Terminal NYC, Brooklyn Cruise Terminal NYC and Bayonne Cruise Terminal NJ. CT Airlink hire licensed and friendly chauffeurs who have in-depth knowledge of the Areas.

Its Not Always About the Benjamins, Baby

Often when I receive emails from this list with folks,... Read More

Lisas Christmas

Lisa was born into a loving Christian family and went... Read More

I Am Unique

We have given a lot of thought, paid an indecent... Read More

Clearing Your Inner Landscape: Freeing Yourself From Emotional Deadwood

Do you suffer from emotional clutter? Is suffering even the... Read More


"If unresolved anger is a toxin to the spirit, forgiveness... Read More

Walking The Walk

Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 14,... Read More

Beluga Whale Hits the River

Wonders never cease. Just when those in our area of... Read More

Reclaiming Our Resilient Spirit

Our spirits are taking a beating. The daily barrage of... Read More

Play a BIGGER role in life!

Did you ever think that you are not playing the... Read More

In Search For Wealth

My eldest son phoned me the other night to let... Read More

Fulfilling Your Dreams: The Magic Of Starting

Fulfilling your dreams will remain a mirage if you simply... Read More


It's all in the mind- your mind.It's not brought about... Read More


Most people like movies. Some, like me, are enthralled by... Read More

Have a Green Day, Every Day!

Green symbolises growth. Growth requires change and transformation. This article... Read More

The Dead

Direct Answers - Column for the week of February 9,... Read More


Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 29,... Read More

Switch to a Better Channel!

Peril, catastrophe and disaster.These are our friends, allies and mentors.Appearing... Read More

Information -- Schminformation, Enough Already!

We are drowning in it, our grey matter is swollen... Read More

Courage That Changes Your Life

"The scars you acquire while exercising courage will never make... Read More

Trusting Yourself and Others

How come, as women, we always second-guess ourselves? Are we... Read More

How To Develop A Grateful Mind (The Best Medicine)

There is one sure fire medicine that cures all difficulty... Read More

Everyone Has Been Hurt..... Part 5

Continued...About a year later I met my husband. I met... Read More

Top 15 Inspirational Quotations

Get inspired and lift your spirits with these positive quotations... Read More

Believe in Yourself!

A near middle-aged man in one of my last workshops... Read More

FEAR Don?t Let it Control You!

Fear. What is it? Can you touch it? Can you... Read More