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Everyone Has Been Hurt...Part 2


Then onto my teen years. My mom had a few boyfriends back then. The majority didn't like me and my brother too well, but mainly my brother, I guess it was jealousy. Some were okay others weren't. Some treated us like crap, others looked out for us. When they picked at my brother, I once again became a protector of my family and especially him. Now they had to get back at me right. What was closest to me back them? My animals. So how did one get to me? He would torture my dog, all the time, beat him, kicked him, whatever he could because he knew it hurt me and I would defend my dogs as I would family. I got punished a lot usually for sticking up for my brother. My mom would get mad because we embarrassed her and would be upset. I had a lot to say about my mom but we have since made up and I really don't want to discuss that now.

My grandparents were like a second mom and dad for me though. We ended up getting new neighbors when I turned 15 and they had a teenage son. My aunt talked my mom into letting me date him, huge mistake and I mean mistake. I had no experience with boys at all. I had a very isolated life, no boyfriends or anything up to that point. For years I didn't even really have many friends at school maybe one or two. I was too shy. I couldn't even look most people in the eye, especially if they intimidated me. I force myself to do it now though regardless. I even got fired from my first job because I couldn't look at people, when I took their order, and when my boss confronted me about messing up orders I got fired when I refused to look him in the eye. Now back to the guy.

My mom gave in and let me date him. He was my first everything, and I do mean everything. Her never ever pressured me into having sex, but I was so naive I thought if I did we would get married and live happily ever after. I was way to innocent. I finally gave into him, in the back seat of his car, in the middle of a ball field. A month later he broke up with me and went back to his ex girlfriend. I was devastated I was completely heartbroken. Nobody knew about us and everyone began to wonder why I had so suddenly become so angry. I was angry with everyone and life in general. I was ashamed and completely pissed off It didn't help that he lived next door and I got to watch him and his girlfriend together on a daily basis either.

The next guy I dated , well we ended up dating for at least a year maybe two. . he cheated on me constantly. He cheated on me as much as I changed clothes and that was a lot.. I also got in a lot of trouble with him. I ended up running away from home. He ended up getting arrested when my mom found out I was having sex with him. My mom was going to send me to a girl's home but my oldest sister stepped in and stopped it. That was with the help of her(Mom's) new boyfriend, now husband. I ended up going to my cousin's house for about a month maybe a little less.

Now I was the rebel, the black sheep of the family. I was forbidden to see the guy anymore, but I snuck around and saw him anyways. My mom became afraid of me, and I felt like I finally had some control over my life. In reality I was more out of control then, than I ever had been. My anger was to the extreme. I would literally fly into rages and I cared about nothing and noone. I had, had my taste of men and If they could play I could too. Boy did I play. I never did sleep with a bunch of guys, no I felt I was to good for that, but I did have a few boyfriends and I learned to play games. I stayed with some of these guys for awhile a year here or there. I did hurt a lot of those guys. I did it intentionally too at times. I have since tried to make up for that, some of them I am friends with now, but I did play people and I am not proud of that.

Vaughn Pascal

In The News:

14 Americans allowed on flight after testing positive for COVID-19 on way to airport
Mon, 17 Feb 2020 01:27:00 +0000
Fourteen US citizens who were evacuated from a quarantined cruise ship have been flown home - despite being found to have COVID-19 on the way to the airport.

Britons quarantined on cruise ship over coronavirus angry over 'inaction'
Sun, 16 Feb 2020 10:21:00 +0000
A British couple in quarantine on board a cruise ship in Japan have begged British authorities to get them home, as coronavirus cases on board the Diamond Princess rise.

Japan on brink of recession as coronavirus impact bites
Mon, 17 Feb 2020 09:08:00 +0000
The Japanese economy shrank at its fastest pace in more than five years at the end of 2019 - putting it on the brink of recession as the impact of the coronavirus begins to bite.

UK and EU will 'rip each other apart' in talks, France predicts
Mon, 17 Feb 2020 05:10:00 +0000
Prime Minister Boris Johnson has been warned that he will face a tough battle with the European Union in his efforts to secure a trade deal in the aftermath of Brexit.

Elton John in tears after ending show early due to walking pneumonia
Sun, 16 Feb 2020 11:29:00 +0000
Veteran performer Elton John has apologised to fans for cutting a gig short in New Zealand, after being diagnosed with walking pneumonia.

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