Maintain your old Siemens Hipath system

Obsolete Is A Dirty Word (Intel Pentium 64 Bit Microchip)

Get ready everyone, home computers are about to set new LAN speed records! The Intel 64-bit microchip will soon be powering the new line of Pentium 4 computers. This long awaited sizzling fast release will be heading to store shelves across America just in time for the new blazing fast Windows 64-bit operating system. You'll get the 64-bit Pentium microchip, the 64-bit operating system, and that's not all, if you spend all your money, you'll also get all the new 64-bit stellar fast software programs that will leave current versions coughing in the rooster tail of their 64-bit micro-dust.

Yet a startling new poll indicated a majority of respondent(s) were actually upset by the good news from the technology sector.

Here are the fascinating results of the poll:

Respondent(s) gave a 1-10 rating regarding their anticipated personal happiness and productivity that the newer and faster computers would yield. 1 being: "I'm in electronic nirvana, I waited to buy, I was patient and did not up-grade pre-maturely, and now the technology gods have rewarded my computer buying diligence, bestowing upon me a new Intel 64-bit processor, operating system and software as soon as they come out!!" And 10 being: "Don't talk to me I hate you!" The margin of error was +/- 0%. Questionnaires were sent to a scientific sample of 1.

OK it was me. I polled myself. And no I'm not happy. But wait, before you judge me harshly, I should give you some facts about myself that might engender some empathy. First of all, I'm cursed. I don't know how this works, but I hold all power over technological advances. That's right, new technology will not be released to the computer buying public until I finally decide to upgrade...to the old technology. Narcissistic? Hardly. There is a cosmic triggering mechanism that knows. If you happened to be tuned in, it would go a little something like this: "Technology universe heed! Rick has purchased Super Gizmo 3.0. Prepare to launch version 4.0. Wait for my command....Steady... There, he's exceeded the store return policy envelope. Launch upgrade. Brace for impact and greatness of sorrow. That is all."

So I hope you're happy. Because the only reason, that you can go out and buy the new Intel 64-bit P4 wonder machine and all of the wonder programs & software to come, is because I just bought a beautiful 32-bit machine with matching laptop. No, that's ok, you don't have to thank me. It's just a burden that I must carry. I do it stoically and with quiet dignity, normally, but this is a revolutionary advance, a tectonic shift in computing acceleration and I'm going to wail out loud, because I just can't go out and buy another computer and stay married! At least that's how she interprets the vows.

Oh...you think I make too much of this do you? Perhaps. But for those of you who may not be as, how should I say...techno hip... let me explain the speed differential between the present 32-bit sludge processors (like the one I just bought...twice) and the new sleek Intel 64-bit miracle maker.

Picture languishing in a huge super Wal-Mart with two hundred bargain happy shoppers squeezing through 32 cash registers at once. And just to make it really painful, some have price checks and questionable coupons. See yourself in line. A long line. And all you can do to pass the time is inch along reading the "13 Things Wives Never Tell Their Husbands". After awhile, you might get close enough to see another magazine cover with a picture of Jennifer, ...the exact moment she found out about Brad. Go ahead judge Brad, you've got the time. You can even manufacture some contempt for that vixen Angelina. You're not going anywhere, no one is going anywhere. They've only got 32 cash registers open!

Suddenly, one of the cashiers feels the heat, fumbles for the microphone, and makes a garbled announcement. It must be in code, because no one can understand it, yet the next thing you know, everyone is tossing magazines and trampling children, nuns, & puppies. Why? I'll tell you why. Because 32 more cashiers are now open for the next person in line! That makes a grand total of 64 cashiers "processing" transactions instead of 32! The line is moving fast..."Come on people, we're all going home!" And that my friend is how the new Intel 64-bit microchip works. Do you see now why I mourn?

"The analogy is brilliant", you might say, "but how does that translate into reality?" Well, the average home computer user will now be able to print a letter at .005 nanoseconds instead of .006! Think of it. You'll be pulling out your letter from the printer, while I'll still be be pulling out my letter from the printer too, but a whole .001 nanoseconds behind, unless I come up with an ingenious "low tech" way to make up the difference and win.

So go ahead, buy the faster computer, see if I care, I don't mind. One day I'll have that 64-bit, right before the 128's come out. And perhaps you'll be standing with me, in 64-bit hell, wanting my Cosmo, but no, I'm not done reading it yet. I still need to find out the "22 Secrets of True Passion and How To Enlighten Your Idiot Man." And then we'll see who mourns, when I look you in the eye and say, "Go find your own magazine!"

Rick David writes a humor column entitled, "Don't Laugh, It Could Happen To You!" for http://sandiego.merchantamerica.com

In The News:

Paris suspect Abdeslam guilty of attempted murder
Mon, 23 Apr 2018 09:04:00 +0100
Paris attacks suspect Salah Abdeslam has been found guilty of attempted murder after a shootout in Brussels in March 2016.

Reporter covering protest killed on Facebook Live
Sun, 22 Apr 2018 18:54:00 +0100
The death of a journalist covering protests in Nicaragua has been captured on camera as he filmed on Facebook Live.

World's oldest person dies in Japan
Mon, 23 Apr 2018 08:03:00 +0100
A great-great-great grandmother who was the world's oldest person has died at the age of 117.

Migrants drown off Libyan coast on way to Europe
Sun, 22 Apr 2018 20:34:00 +0100
Eleven migrants have died at sea and 263 have been rescued off the coast of Libya, the country's navy said.

Suicide bomber kills 57 at Kabul voting centre
Sun, 22 Apr 2018 11:43:00 +0100
At least 57 people have been killed after a suicide bomber struck at a voter registration centre in Afghanistan.



tikatoshop.it

Erfahrungen mit Pallhuber Wein
Agen Bola SBOBET Terpercaya

Travel in comfort and at your leisure with CT Airlink Limousine & Car Service for top quality private transportation and exceptional customer service. We operate Sedans, SUVs & Vans for CT Car Services to covering all Connecticut airports including Car Service from CT to Newark Airport , Mohegan Casino Uncasville CT, Foxwoods Casino Mashantucket CT, Manhattan Cruise Terminal NYC, Brooklyn Cruise Terminal NYC and Bayonne Cruise Terminal NJ. CT Airlink hire licensed and friendly chauffeurs who have in-depth knowledge of the Areas.

Getting The Proper Laptop Screen Size

Are you sick of viewing everything on that small screen... Read More

Used Laptop Computer: Your Quick Purchase Inspection Guide ? Part 4

Used laptop computers are everywhere these days. How can you... Read More

What Is A Crystal? And How To Test It

Crystal are use to keep the frequency of the clock... Read More

Digital Camera Prints - Getting the Most for Your Money

Digital cameras have really taken off in popularity in recent... Read More

The Constantly Changing World of Inkjet Technology

We have finally advanced to a time when technology can... Read More

Wireless Networking, Part 1: Capabilities and Hardware

Wireless Networking, Part 1: Capabilities and HardwareThese days it isn't... Read More

Used Laptop Computer: Your Quick Purchase Inspection Guide ? Part 3

Used laptop computers are everywhere these days. How can you... Read More

Preventing Tape Drive Failure

Contrary to popular belief, tape drives are generally robust and... Read More

Throw Away The Fax Machine ? A Guide To Online Fax

Have you ever felt like throwing the fax machine out... Read More

Lock Workstation Fast

When you work in an office, it's important to lock... Read More

Sony vs. Olympus: Digital Voice Recorders

Digital voice recorders have become increasingly popular over the last... Read More

The Top 10 Must-Have Laptop Accessories

You've laid out good money for your laptop computer, but... Read More

Where does technology come from?

Ever wonder where all the cool gadgets come from? Ever... Read More

How to Read Zener Diode Code

Many technicians are confused on how to really read a... Read More

Printer Cartridge Economics -- Four Ways To Make Your Ink Last Longer

Printer cartridge overheads can be a major expense for any... Read More

A Review of Brother Laser Toners

Brother is right up there with HP and Samsung as... Read More

Choosing The Right Bar Code Reader

The importance of a bar code reader in this day... Read More

Wireless Networking, Part 2: Setup and Security

The first installment in this two-part series of Tech Tips... Read More

Do You Have Dead Pixels?

Take a good look at your notebook computer screen. Do... Read More

USB Hubs and Ports Explained

The USB standard has become the universal means of connection... Read More

Can I Use My Old Ink With My New Printer?

The quick answer is...yes and no.Consider this. How many printer... Read More

The Hard Disk

From throwing our unnecessary files, to defragmenting, from partitions to... Read More

Investing On A 1D Bar Code Reader

Whereas 2D bar codes offer more security and safety for... Read More

RAM - What is It & Why You Need Plenty

This is the first article in the Understanding Your Computer... Read More

Expansion Cards Part 2: AGP

Expansion Cards Part 2: AGPThe first in this series of... Read More