Maintain your old Siemens Hipath system

Overcoming Your Nervousness About Talking to Women

Standing at the magazine rack thumbing through Cosmo, she has the most gorgeous face you've ever seen. Her hair is silky blond. Her skin looks so radiant and so incredibly soft. You would be on top of the world if you could pick her this girl up.

You feel the nervousness.

You know that even if you got your balls in gear and went for it, you wouldn't know what to say. You feel so nervous and fumbly that you would reject yourself if you were her. So you shy away from even approaching her in the first place.

Does this situation sound familiar? If so, keep reading.

The first thing for you to realize is that all guys get anxiety about approaching women. I know I certainly do.

But what separates you (and me) from the rest of the guys is...

What You Do About Your Fear

Most guys let fear paralyze them... not just about chicks, but about other things in their life like their career... which is why, unfortunately, most guys will never find the success that they want.

First, look at where your fear comes from. The problem is inside of you. It's not with the chicks.

If you're thinking about rejection, then that means you're making your approaches with a certain outcome in mind (I'm just guessing, but I think if you're like most guys, your goal is getting chicks attracted to you so that you can get laid).

Try this instead... approach without having any expectations. No goals.

Let me tell you about a problem I used to have. I'm inclined to be an introvert, as I discuss in my book "How to Become an Alpha Male."

So to overcome my shyness, I would force myself to chat up everybody, no matter who they were... hot girls, ugly girls, fat girls, old people, men, children, people walking dogs, etc.

I would talk about neutral topics with them, nothing to do with picking up chicks.

The net result from all of that was I became really good at approaching people.

After that, however, I made a mistake. I said to myself, "Since I'm so good at approaching people and have become an outgoing person, why am I wasting time talking to anyone other than hot babes?"

So then I limited the people I talked to... and my anxiety about talking to random women swept over me once again. It was as if I'd never had all that practice chatting up strangers in the first place.

At that point I realized it was because I was outcome-dependent. Because I had thoughts like "I'm going to try to lay this chick" in my mind... before I'd even opened my mouth to say "hi"... and so I would crash and burn. It sucked.

Here's something I want you to try. Whenever you go out, talk to three people, but do it just for practice. Don't do it for real.

Because it's just for practice, don't limit yourself to just talking to hot women. In general, I've found that elderly people (both males and females) and fat women are easy to talk to.

If it helps, set up a time limit for your practice interactions, like that you'll talk to the person for 30 seconds and then you'll get out of the conversation. (Say something like, "Well, I'm on my way to meeting a friend. Good chatting with you." And then walk away without making a big deal of it.)

Another trick a friend of mine told me was to think of something funny before you chat up a stranger. Tell yourself a joke as you're walking toward them and then laugh. That'll put you in a good mood when you talk to the person.

Once you've done your practices and feel warmed up, then you can chat up hot chicks. Again though, do it without having any sort of sex-related outcome in mind. For example, if a chick passes by you in a hallway, just say, "Hey, I need a quick female opinion on something." (Then ask about something that you genuinely want a female opinion on.)

Remember though: have no outcome in mind. So it doesn't matter if the chick responds rudely.

In fact, when you reach a point that you've chatted up lots of women, you'll find that eventually rude responses on their part mean nothing. You'll have an attitude of "ha, how original... I've had tons of women give me that exact same 'clever' rude comment."

I've been rejected hideously, time and time again. One chick screamed "Go away!" at me before I could even get out my initial sentence.

Another time I thought it was amusing when I approached a group of two girls, just for practice, and right after I said "hey," they both turned their backs on me in unison, as if they were synchronized dancers!

Another time a chick got some guy to try to start a fight with me just because I talked with her. I managed to get away without fighting, but I felt like a total chump afterwards.

But now I just look back on all of that and laugh.

So anyway, the point is that the more you approach, the more you'll reach a level where you notice that most people act in the same, predictable ways. It'll bore you rather than cause you anxiety.

Think of it as trying to build a house. You put down one brick at a time and cement it. Brick, cement. Brick, cement. It'll take a long time, but eventually, the walls will be up (which means you've finished the hard part).

To get a bit more psychological, there's really no such thing as "being nervous," like it's something genetic. You don't "get nervous," like it's some kind of flu virus that invades your body.

All feelings of nervousness come from within. You have a certain series of thought processes that you go through. You say things to yourself. (When you think thoughts like, "I would reject myself," it sets you up for failure!) You picture the chicks rejecting you. You feel tense in your body. And so on.

So what you can do to break this is to identify it for what it is.

Notice your negative thoughts and change them. Instead of thinking, "Oh my God, this chick is going to act snotty to me because I fumble my words"... think, "It's awesome that I'm making this approach, because if this chick rejects me, that means I've gotten her out of the way and I'm one step closer to finding my dream girl."

Notice where you feel tense in your body, and then let your muscles relax in those areas. For me, I feel tense in my jaw and face when I'm nervous. So when I relax my jaw and facial muscles, it alleviates a lot of my tension.

Finally, there's one more way to reduce anxiety that I got from Tony Robbins. Before you approach a woman, you visualize the situation as if it has already occurred and you've just been rejected by her.

But you know what? Even when you get rejected, that's a good thing, because at least you went for it. Every rejection brings you one step closer to success. Every rejection makes it that much easier to making conversation, since it desensitizes you to the whole thing.

So concentrate on how you'll feel afterwards and approach her as if the rejection has already occurred (and you feel happy for it), rather than focusing on what's going on before you've even made your approach.

I'll wrap it up for you by concluding with this advice:

1) Be social for the sake of being social. Nothing else.

2) Remember that the only way to get over your fear is by doing the thing you fear. The more you do it, the easier it gets, because your attitude about the experiences will become, "Been there, done that, it's no big deal."

John Alexander is author of How to Become an Alpha Male, a dating success guide for men. Find out more about how this guide can help you by visiting http://www.becomingalpha.com

In The News:

Two dead and 18 injured in Italy train crash
Thu, 24 May 2018 02:42:00 +0100
Two people have died and 18 have been injured after a train hit a truck stopped on the tracks near the northern Italian city of Turin, officials have said.

'Cold-blooded' gang ran drugs ring from jail
Thu, 24 May 2018 04:10:00 +0100
More than 80 members of the Mexican Mafia have been charged with taking part in a conspiracy to run drugs and carry out violent assaults ordered from prison.

Trump banned from blocking Twitter users
Thu, 24 May 2018 02:02:00 +0100
Donald Trump has been banned from blocking Twitter users who disagree with his political views from his official account.

Deutsche Bank to cut more than 7,000 jobs
Thu, 24 May 2018 06:41:00 +0100
Struggling Deutsche Bank says it is to cut more than 7,000 jobs, in a move that will see staff numbers in London scaled back.

Hawaiians watch lava eat their street
Wed, 23 May 2018 20:54:00 +0100
Hawaii's national guard is now tightly controlling access to Leilani Estates. 



tikatoshop.it

Erfahrungen mit Pallhuber Wein
Agen Bola SBOBET Terpercaya

Travel in comfort and at your leisure with CT Airlink Limousine & Car Service for top quality private transportation and exceptional customer service. We operate Sedans, SUVs & Vans for CT Car Services to covering all Connecticut airports including Car Service from CT to Newark Airport , Mohegan Casino Uncasville CT, Foxwoods Casino Mashantucket CT, Manhattan Cruise Terminal NYC, Brooklyn Cruise Terminal NYC and Bayonne Cruise Terminal NJ. CT Airlink hire licensed and friendly chauffeurs who have in-depth knowledge of the Areas.

True Love And Chemistry: Exploring Myth And Reality

When you think about the qualities found in a true... Read More

Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places?

You've hung out in bars, you've answered the personals, you've... Read More

Too Ugly? Too Short? Heres How To Turn Your Flaws Into Strengths

If you're worried and upset about your physical flaws, which... Read More

How To Make Date Conversation

What do you talk about on a date? Is it... Read More

A Nice Guys Guide to Dating Success

Has it ever happened to you? Have you ever had... Read More

Dos and Donts for Men on Dating Sites

Men, learn how to behave on dating and personals sites.Being... Read More

Love Discrimination

Why is it people, especially the media, thinks that looking... Read More

Online Dating Beginners Quiz

Free dating online-you've heard about it, you've read about it,... Read More

Dating Tip for Women: Dont Work Too Hard

Remember Jerry Hall, the model who married Mick Jagger? Jerry... Read More

Self-Esteem

It begins with you, and your attitude. There are a... Read More

Ways to Say I Love You in Another Language

Have you been looking for romantic and provocative ways to... Read More

How to Be a Great First Date

Okay, you've scored a date with a sexy somebody for... Read More

Christian Singles and Meet Christian Singles

Christian singles are plentiful no matter what age you are... Read More

How To Write Descriptions That Stand Out From The Crowd

Just about every dating site-even those with minimal profiles-have space... Read More

Six Things Every Christian Single Should Know Before Dating Online (Part One)

Years ago, online dating had a reputation that was less... Read More

Online Dating -- Facts About Your Online Profile

Times are changing and online dating is becoming a more... Read More

10 Important, Easy Dating Rules to Ensure Your Success

1) Leave the mobile phone off! Do not answer it... Read More

Secret Dating Tips - Top Secrets of a Sex Magnet

In any group of girls, there's usually one who's getting... Read More

Flattery Will Get You Everywhere

Flattery will get you everywhere! Always compliment women and they... Read More

Internet Dating - Introduction

So you're single. And you don't want to be single... Read More

Gay Dating Tactics: Your First-Date Dos & Donts

IntroductionNothing gets the heart pumping quite like the nervous anticipation... Read More

How to Get Over an Ex When You?re Still In Love

1. First, put yourself in the opposite position: If YOU... Read More

Should You Consider an Internet Romance?

Carly's quest in finding a suitable partner for marriage seemed... Read More

Online Dating Secret

There is a simple online dating secret that can save... Read More

8 Deadly Dating Mistakes To Avoid!

Are you dating or in a serious relationship? Did you... Read More