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The Self Development Tool Box

Do you have a self-development toolbox? Do you have a standard set of instruments or mechanisms that you use to delve into your inner self? Just asking yourself those questions makes you think, doesn't it? That is because questioning is the most powerful tool in your self-development toolbox. When we start on the self-development path it is usually because we have asked ourselves a question: who am I, what is it I want, why am I in this position, when can I change, where will this happen and how can I make it happen? Questions can be about us or about others and are used as identifiers. Who do I want to be? Who is standing in the way? Who will support me in this? Who can provide information?

We bring clarity to our quest by asking What. What is standing in the way of resolving this issue? What can I do about this? What is my next step?" Answering the What questions moves us another step forward on the path to change.

If you have ever been in the presence of a three year old for any length of time, you know that their favorite word is Why. The Why question brings them new information and helps them to understand the workings of a world that is new to them. It can be the same for us in the self-development process. Why do I feel this way? Why do I react like that? Why does this seem hard? Why can't I get motivated?

To take action we need to ask the When question. When will I start? When will this happen? The answers to When questions create timetables and guidelines to follow. When putting a roast into the oven we need to know when it will be cooked. Knowing when the roast will be done moves us to have the table set and the vegetables cooked at the appropriate time. When questions motivate.

Where do we want our self-development quest to take us? If we don't know where we want to go we will surely have a hard time getting there. And, if we don't know where we have been how will we know where we want to go. Where questions raise our awareness. Where do I want to be one year from now?five years from now?

Once we know who, what, why, when, and where we need to know how. How can I accomplish this? How should I start? How will I feel when I am there? How questions help us to create a plan for action.

Trial lawyers always say, "Never ask a question you don't know the answer to." It is exactly the opposite in the self-development process. Queries you don't know the answer to are the ones that will bring you the most new information about who you are, where you are and who and where you want to be in the future. Questions can stimulate a deep thought process and can bring us to places of discovery and revelation we wouldn't otherwise reach. If you want to: make a change, find a solution, clarify your thinking, identify a goal or learn more about the real you, just delve into your toolbox and pull out the questioning tool. It works every time!

Beth Densmore is a Personal Life Coach who offers support, inspiration and motivation to those who are in transition and want to achieve a goal. For more information and more free articles like this, visit her site at

Authors Note: Feel free to use this article for your web-site or e-zine as long as it remains unaltered (including the "about the author" info), and you send a copy of your reprint to

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