Maintain your old Siemens Hipath system

Being an Emotional Victim

None of us like to think of ourselves as victims. The term "victim" brings to mind a pathetic image of a person who is powerless. Therefore, It comes as a shock to most of us to realize how often we allow ourselves to be emotional victims. Having counseled individuals, couples, families and business partners for 35 years, I know that many of us are victims much of the time without realizing it.

We are being victims anytime we give another person the power to define our worth. We are being victims anytime we make approval, sex, things, a substance, or an activity responsible for our feelings of happiness and lovability. We are being victims anytime we blame another for our feelings of fear, anger, hurt, aloneness, jealousy, disappointment, and so on. Whenever we choose to define ourselves externally, we are handing away power to others and we then feel controlled by their choices.

When we choose to define ourselves internally through our connection with our spiritual Guidance, we move into personal power and personal responsibility. The moment we sincerely want to learn about our own intrinsic worth and what behavior is in our highest good, and we ask Spirit, we will receive answers. Most people do not realize how easy it is to receive answers from a spiritual Source. The answers will pop into your mind in words or pictures, or you will experience the answers through your feelings, when your sincere desire is to learn.

We always have two choices: we can try to find our happiness, peace, safety, security, lovability and worth through people, things, activities, and substances; or we can feel joyful, peaceful, safe, secure, lovable and worthy through connection with a spiritual Source of love and compassion - taking loving care of ourselves and loving others.

Whenever we choose to find our happiness and safety through others, then we have to try to control them to give us what we want. Then, when they don't come through for us in the way we hoped they would, we feel victimized by their choices.

Here is an example: Don and Joyce are in a continual power struggle over how to handle their children. Joyce tends to be authoritarian while Don is fairly permissive. When Joyce gets frustrated with Don's parenting, she generally yells at him about his permissiveness. Don often listens to Joyce rant and rave at him. Sometimes she goes on for over an hour and he just listens. Then, when he tries to talk with her, she refuses to listen. Don then feels victimized, complaining about how Joyce yells at him and refuses to listen to him.

When I asked Don in a counseling session with him why he sits and listens to Joyce, he stated that he hoped if he listened to her she would listen to him. I asked if she ever does listen during these conflicts, and he answered "No."

"Why do you need her to listen to you?"

"I want to explain to her why I did what I did with the children."

"Why do you need to explain it to her?"

"So she won't be mad at me."

Don allows himself to be yelled at by Joyce as his way of trying to control Joyce, hoping to get her to approve of him. Then he tried to explain to further control how she feels about him. When she won't listen, he feels victimized by her yelling, blaming her for being such an angry, controlling person.

If Don were willing to take responsibility for approving of himself through his connection with his Higher Power, he would not listen to Joyce when she was yelling at him. Instead, he would set a limit against being yelled at, stating that he would listen to her only when she spoke to him with respect and only when she was open to learning with him. But as long as she has to approve of him for him to feel secure or worthy, he will not set this limit. Until Don opens to his spiritual Guidance for his security and worth, instead of handing this job to Joyce, he will be a victim of her unloving behavior.

Taking responsibility for our own feelings of worth and lovability through developing our spiritual connection, instead of giving that job to others, moves us out of being victims and into personal power.

About The Author

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.

In The News:

Holidaymakers among 7 dead as helicopter and small plane collide in Majorca
Sun, 25 Aug 2019 14:22:00 +0100
Seven people, including two children, have been killed in a collision between a helicopter and a small plane in Majorca.

Police draw their guns after being attacked by Hong Kong protesters
Sun, 25 Aug 2019 11:10:00 +0100
Hong Kong police have drawn their guns and one fired a warning shot into the air after they were attacked by protesters with sticks and rods.

Major nations close to agreement on Amazon fires, says Macron
Sun, 25 Aug 2019 13:52:00 +0100
Emmanuel Macron has said leaders of the world's major industrialised nations are close to an agreement on how to help fight the fires tearing through the Amazon in Brazil.

Full scale of devastation in Amazon rainforest is impossible to tell
Sun, 25 Aug 2019 05:07:00 +0100
It was only after the wrath of world leaders was unleashed on Friday that the Brazilian president responded with meaningful action.

Child among 22 migrants rescued from Channel
Sun, 25 Aug 2019 11:00:00 +0100
French authorities have rescued 22 migrants who got into trouble while trying to cross the Channel.



tikatoshop.it

Erfahrungen mit Pallhuber Wein
Agen Bola SBOBET Terpercaya

Travel in comfort and at your leisure with CT Airlink Limousine & Car Service for top quality private transportation and exceptional customer service. We operate Sedans, SUVs & Vans for CT Car Services to covering all Connecticut airports including Car Service from CT to Newark Airport , Mohegan Casino Uncasville CT, Foxwoods Casino Mashantucket CT, Manhattan Cruise Terminal NYC, Brooklyn Cruise Terminal NYC and Bayonne Cruise Terminal NJ. CT Airlink hire licensed and friendly chauffeurs who have in-depth knowledge of the Areas.

Leading Grief Groups: The Preliminaries

Preparation: If you desire advertising the group, announcements need to... Read More

The Art of Change

We don't change. I imagine such a statement could find... Read More

Personal Core Values: Your Key to Success and Happiness

Each of us has our own set of personal values;... Read More

Kabbalah Coach: Love the One Youre With

IntroductionEvery one of us came to the planet to figure... Read More

One BIG Way To Increase Your Values and Self-Esteem

One hour here, two hours there, even fifteen minutes, it... Read More

Dealing Effectively with Midlife Issues

In this article we would like to help you explore... Read More

Let?s Say You?re a Dog. Are You So Competitive You?d Eat a Carrot?

Seems like a gal always learns something out on the... Read More

Coaching - An Adapting Tool For Attaining Fulfillment In The Global Economy

At a time when the global economy is bringing innovation,... Read More

Handling Disappointment

Disappointment is an inevitable part of home-based business. Clients won't... Read More

Controlling Behavior, Loving Behavior

When Zack and Tiffany started counseling with me, they were... Read More

The Great Marketing Reframe

From grimaces to stomach knots, talking about marketing seems to... Read More

Worth Waiting For

Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 22,... Read More

The Power of a Scope

We all know the power of a scope if you... Read More

4 Amazing Tips To Successfully Persuade Anyone

Having excellent persuasion skills is one of the most important... Read More

Use a Journal for Self-Discovery and Self-Expression

As a therapist, I often suggest to clients that they... Read More

The Difference Between Approval and Appreciation

Having worked with individuals, couples, families and business partners for... Read More

Life - Is It Just An Illusion?

It's a well-known fact that electrons and atoms move at... Read More

Difficult Challenges? -- What If?

Sometimes life can seem like one long series of unsolvable... Read More

Its Story Time! - Find the Power Within, or The Truth About Dogs

I heard a story recently, and wanted to share it... Read More

Are YOU a Dreamer?

This morning I watched a news article about a young... Read More

A Live It

Real change happens only when it becomes part of our... Read More

Secrets of Creating Interpersonal Power

If you work with people, as a company owner, manager... Read More

The Joy of Learning!

"Part of what motivates me to write this book is... Read More

Curse of Competence: How Being Good gets in the way of Becoming Great

Just before the storms hit last winter, my father-in-law and... Read More

How to Save Yourself from Negative Influences

Watching the news can be hazardous to your health.It's a... Read More