It's amazing how easy it is to convince ourselves that we're in control of everything in our lives. When it comes right down to it, what we eventually learn is that we are in control of only two things: our own thoughts, and our own actions. We can fool ourselves into thinking that we can control our spouses, children, friends, employers, etc. But are we really in control? We can plot, manipulate, connive and cajole in order to get our own way, but ultimately the other person makes their own decision. We didn't force anything to happen. We may have encouraged it, but we didn't cause it.
For most of us, our attempts to control the people and situations in our lives don't come from pettiness or greed. Most often, it is pure fear that drives us. If we can't control what our loved ones do, they might hurt us, reject us, betray us or abandon us. Handing our heart to someone on a silver platter is a tremendous act of faith and love. If by chance that heart gets tipped onto the ground and trampled, it's a feeling we don't forget easily. Once we've been betrayed, it is very difficult to trust again. We don't want to experience that sharp pain again, so we try to control the situation and prevent it from happening again. But we cannot control the actions of another, no matter how desperately we might want to.
It's important to differentiate between control and power. Just because we are not in control of our loved ones, does not mean we are powerless in our relatioships. When something happens that is out of our control, we are then faced with a decision. How do we react to this situation? What do we want to do about it? While we couldn't control the actions of the other person, we can control our own actions and responses.
That's the problem for many of us, we're trying to control the wrong things. Remember the Serenity Prayer?
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
If you continuously find yourself struggling with the circumstances of your life, perhaps a little introspection might help you decide if you're trying to change things that are out of your control. If you can shift your focus a little bit and concentrate on the things you are in control of, it can have a domino effect in the other areas of your life.
Release your fear of powerlessness. You are not powerless. You actually have much more power than you realize. Power over your own fears and emotions -- which by the way, are usually what get us into the most trouble. ;-) Knowing that you are never truly a victim in your life can be tremendously freeing. Remember that you always have a choice.
Releasing the illusion of control can be frightening, but remember that it's an illusion. You were never in control of these things to begin with. You just tried to convince yourself that you were.
Wendy Betterini is an inspirational writer who strives to motivate, uplift, and inspire you to make your dreams a reality. Visit her website, http://www.WingsForTheHeart.com for more positive thoughts to help you on your journey.
You've got a lot to store in that brain of... Read More
Sometimes when I refer to the Authentic Self, I receive... Read More
Is being special or unique a property of an object... Read More
What's In a Name?How often have you thought about the... Read More
We live in a very busy age with many pressures... Read More
One message we hear from the time we are children... Read More
It is becoming clear that the way a country or... Read More
As painful as this realization may be, it is absolutely... Read More
Have you ever felt paralyzed or crippled by fear? As... Read More
"You cannot step into the same river twice"Hericlitus spoke those... Read More
Imagine that you could boost your confidence, courage, and compassion... Read More
At its core, your sense of self-esteem or self-worth has... Read More
One of the first great things I learned when starting... Read More
FENG shui (say "fung shway") is the art of creating... Read More
If you can do anything in this time in your... Read More
There are times in life when we wish to create... Read More
We are all different. We are all the same. Whereas... Read More
รข??The snow goose need not bathe to make its self... Read More
Do you remember the feeling of seeing someone you were... Read More
When the mind was fidgety, like a monkeyWhen you felt... Read More
Do you remember your younger years when you and your... Read More
Dear Internet friend. Each human being is an incredible piece... Read More
I have finally come to believe something about myself because... Read More
As we age and our teeth shift, a gap between... Read More
Many of you already know that I've been divorced for... Read More
If you've been practising the Law of Attraction, then you're... Read More
I hear of so many people using affirmations as the... Read More
Imagine there is an event that will take place in... Read More
Very often when you are talking to people what you... Read More
For the longest time, people believed that the earth was... Read More
Have you ever felt 'stuck' in life? I mean totally... Read More
The other day I was walking out of a store... Read More
Have you heard yourself or others say: "This has shown... Read More
I have a deep and abiding belief that there lies... Read More
"To succeed, planning alone is insufficient. One must improve as... Read More
The questions of life may call to you. You may... Read More
Intuition is an incredible resource and gift that we have... Read More
Growing up, we all had a mental picture of the... Read More
(Excerpts From The Book) Successercising "The Science Of Success Achievement... Read More
Being a child of the Seventies I'm a real fan... Read More
Good luck was not part of my life for many... Read More
You've heard me talk in previous articles about Deliberate attraction.... Read More
Underearning is a process of not really making enough to... Read More
In your journey through life are you the "driver" or... Read More
Who's World Is It?Who's world really is it? Is it... Read More
Perhaps, you have heard the phrase "May the force be... Read More
One of the most important parts of Personal Mastery is... Read More
Descartes once wrote, "I think, therefore I am!" and 'hidden'... Read More
Good Morning! It's the Island outlaw here again. You know... Read More
I saw a coaching client recently who wanted to get... Read More
|